Garage sale and moving talks.

With the neighborhood garage sale coming up this Friday and Saturday, I've been going around the house trying to get everything we don't use or need to try to get rid of it. It seems that most of what we have is clothes! I need more wire hangers like crazy, so if anyone has any please let me know!!! I asked D to take off Friday, even though technically it's only supposed to be Saturday, because we do it both days. The big kids are out of school so they can help too. D is not letting me get rid of alot of stuff we don't use or need and is doing nothing but collecting dust! Anyone else feel like they live with a hoarder?! I know he's not that bad, and some things have emotional value, but we really don't need all this stuff! I'm also hoping that someone will be selling funnel cakes and corn dogs again this year...that might be my favorite part of the neighborhood being so busy. As things are going in different directions, and we've warned our parents...D and I have seriously sped up our possible moving. We are still trying to stay here, but we are also actively looking in other states. We are already looking into Florida (Orlando), Texas (Dallas area, and Midland), Georgia (Atlanta). We are open to alot of different places though, and we talk more about it once a week. We want to stay here, but it might not work out that way. The kids don't know yet, and we decided that we weren't going to tell them anything until something was definite...or not have them worry for nothing if we stay. Jess has a leading part in a school play, and Brandon has made cheer squad, so we aren't going to upset them. Time for me to get back to garage sale stuff...maybe I can sneak stuff into the garage without him noticing....

The Lady I call Mom. To my grandmother.

It has been so hard to collect my feelings on this. They are scattered all over the place, as I would guess most are when someone passes away. I have missed you for years. The Alzheimer's has taken a horrible toll on you the past 5 to 6 years and so I say I have missed you for years. When my mom called me the Wed night at 646 to let me know you finally passed, I cried. Alot. I cried alot more than I thought I would. Mimi told me Tuesday that you weren't doing so well, and we know you've bounced back...Like the energizer bunny she said...but since I have missed you for years I thought when you did go I wouldn't be so upset. Dennis said you never know how it will effect you until it happens. I am relieved you are not suffering anymore and trapped inside your mind, unable to connect. I am heartbroken that you are gone. My beautiful, funny, sweet grandmother who wanted to be called Mom instead of a grandmother name, I miss you. You were always so elegant to me, and the definition in my mind of a true classy lady. I can still hear you laugh when we would all get together at your house for dinners and holidays. I couldn't go see you, I hope you understand. To me, that was you but that was not you. I don't think my mother understood why I couldn't come see you. In my heart and in my head, you are the Mom standing in her kitchen smiling at all of us and laughing. With your hair curled just right and perfectly hemmed pants. Your visitation is Sunday, and your funeral is Monday. I dread both. And I'm sure I will cry everyday until then. Probably even after. Momma told me that Wed, the day you passed, was 10 years to the day after Dad (my grandfather) died. In a way, that's romantic and sad. It's also a reminder to me that you are both gone now. Jess and Brandon will remember you well, and it makes my heart hurt even more to know that Landon and Isaac will never get to meet the wonderful woman that you were. I can tell them, and give them my memories of you, show them pictures...but it's not the same. Wed night a few hours after Momma called, I was telling Jess about stories of you and with you of when I was little and even her age. I love you always, and miss you horribly. I hope you are at peace.

Isaac's great escape

Yesterday was going pretty normal, except D went out about 6 to the front yard to do some edging. It needed it badly so I was happy he was going to get it done. When he does yard work, the garage is always up. I pay closer attention to where the kids are for this reason, but somehow yesterday I was not on top of my game. Here is my epic Mommy fail. Jess, the two little boys and I were in the living room watching Handy Manny. Isaac started playing in the rocks around the pond. Time to distract. ABA style. "Isaac...come look out the front door! I see Daddy doing the yard!" It worked. Out of the pond he went, to the front door (which is always locked-both heavy door and glass) and started giggling. Right up behind us came Landon. "I wanna see Daddy too!" So I moved over and let Landon stand in front of me. Isaac went back towards to the living room. Thinking he was going back to Jess to watch more Handy Manny, I stood there with Landon telling him Daddy was what was called edging. No joke, 15 seconds had gone by and I turned around and said "where's Isaac?!" Running into the kitchen I see so many things off! Owen is staring out of the OPEN door that leads into the garage and Polly is about to go out of it! OH SHIT and ISAAC were my next thoughts as I flew out the door yelling JESS!!! JESSICA!!!! on my way out. I take off down the driveway, screaming Isaac, look left- nothing, look right and at first see nothing then way across Littlemore 4 houses down the other side of Kettering I see my little baby running at top speed. I am frantically yelling ISAAC  and BABY  to try to get Dennis's attention, but he can't hear me over the edger. Adrenaline has way past kicked in by now and I'm running faster than I ever thought across the street, not even paying attention to any cars. Isaac finally starts to hear me, turns around in the middle of Kettering and is grinning and giggling. He starts running back to me and I finally reach him. The whole way back to the house I don't let his feet touch the ground. D has caught up to us just after I catch him and is asking me what happened. 1. I can barely breathe much less talk. 2. All that is coming out are sobs. 3. How do you tell your best friend/spouse/baby's father/ the truth....you looked away for 30 seconds and lost your child?!?! As soon as we get back in the house I set him down in the kitchen, and immediately got down on my knees and thanked God for letting me catch him unharmed. He is fine. Anyone who lives in Countrywood knows that my street, Littlemore, is a cut through for the neighborhood. It cuts through from Rockcreek and Chimney Rock and people FLY down my street. For Isaac to make it across Littlemore and not get hit was a blessing alone! I was sick to my stomach all last night thinking about what if's and stuff like that. D and I knew that alot of autistic children are escape risks, but this was our first. We will be going to Lowe's and babies r us for all kinds of locks, etc. I am shaken up badly by this, but I am mostly grateful he is fine. It really is an amazing thing that my baby is ok. D kept asking me last night if I was ok...um HELL NO. I'm not ok, I'm scared it will happen again. I'm scared I won't be as fast next time, if there is one. I'm a big girl....carrying almost 70lbs of weight that's not ideal for me...and the what if's come roaring back in my head...
Then, I can look at my baby and once again Thank God he is home safe. Blessed beyond belief.

Positive thoughts and Gratitude Journal!

Saw the 30 day detox thing on the Today show...on my flipboard.. and while I'm not quite ready to detox from the internet ( I do that whole selling stuff on fb) I did want to curb my negativity. It has been tested the past few days. I have had to really think about what comes out of my mouth almost constantly. This makes me happy I am trying to do this! An amazing lady suggested I do a gratitude journal, and I thought FABULOUS IDEA! So, here it is! I'm a bit late on starting, better late than never and this will be easier than finding an actual journal somewhere in the house...which is getting more organized by the day! Yay!
My most recent thanks of the past few days...
My mother grabbing me milk while she was at the store the other day. Didn't have to lug 2 kids into a gas station or Kroger just for milk!
D letting me go outside 10 min before they did so I could just soak up sun in peace.
My washer and dryer. Rocking out over 10 loads of laundry yesterday!
Getting the dates down for the Countrywood garage sale! I'm ready to start getting everything in the garage.
The big kids being back from their dads!
SCHOOL STARTING! AMEN!
D cooking/grilling. Love love love when he cooks for me!
D being willing to pick the crabs up when they won't go back into their shells...eek!
Remembering to take time to pray. This one has been important to me lately. And Isaac has been working with me on this one. Instead of dragging me to my bed, he's been dragging me to his. Which means that while he is going to sleep in his bed, I am laying on the floor. Gives me time to just reflect on the day, do a little stretching and few yoga poses (like child's pose), and pray. I am very thankful for these times the past few days.
Until the next time I am able to update my journal...God bless!

Our beach getaway!

Last Sunday we attempted to go to the beach, and while we eventually succeeded it was a long day! Our truck didn't want to go, so Mom let us use her car. Best mom ever I tell you. We eventually got to Biloxi to drop Jess and B off at MawMaws to meet up with their dad and by 9 we were in Gulf Shores! Landon was so exited! Monday was their first experience with sand and ocean and we were honestly quite scared if Isaac would love or hate it. He loved it! He loves playing in the sand, burying himself, and loves the waves!!! Just like in the tub though, he's not a big fan of it going on his head, but other than that he loves it! Loves it when they crash on him, and both boys love running from the sand into the water! I think that's their favorite! We rented a condo and we absolutely adored it. It was about 4 miles west of 59 on and just across the street from the beach. They had a great little walkway onto the beach. After about one day, we were able to get Isaac to understand and use the actual words "beach" and "ocean". We pushed him to his max everyday too and he really didn't but one or two fits the whole time. We pretty much ate at the condo except for dinners, we being of the mostly broke kind, and the kids did well with that. LuLu's was great! All the sand mounds and stuff for the boys to play in while we waited for a table looked like so much fun! Isaac, well he just wanted to stand and try to stick his hand in one of their giant fans. I realized on the way home, that this was just what we needed. I missed the big kids terribly, but I also know they are having teenager type fun that with Isaac we probably wouldn't have fun doing (like bowling, lazer tag, etc) at least not until he's just a bit older. Another thing I realized is the fun at the beach outweighs the sand in places I don't want it. Love tanning, laying on the beach, getting in the water with Landon (no, I cannot handle Isaac at the beach..not physically anyway) are the best. We stayed as long as we could on our last day, pushing Isaac almost past his nap point, and started to long drive back. As we were heading home I realized I don't think I have seen D so relaxed in well over a year. Maybe 2 years. He was wanting to stay one more day, and with the rock star furbaby sitter we had, we tried. But, it was not mean to be. On the way home, we talked about maybe next year. And since Isaac was cool with it, maybe longer than 5 nights. Next year was supposed to be a Disney year though. But the more I thought about it, the more the beach made a better decision. More like $3K than $10K, with the big kids, and D was alot, ALOT, more relaxed and seemed to be happier there than on our Disney trip. I know the saying is Happy Wife, Happy Life, but he makes me happy everyday and I think next summer it will be the beach. Maybe we'll try Fort Morgan or Destin. Where's your favorite beach to vacay and why? Let me know! I have less than a year! :)

Haven't blogged in a while! So much to say, or vent.

As I look toward vacation in a few days and I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to go in 8 different directions, I though I'd get some crap out of my head. We're going to the beach. Yay! Vacation! I'm actually more worried about these 5 days than I was the 14 days at Disney. So much that seems to not be going our way on it. I literally hit my knees and prayed about this vacation last night at one point while D was at the gym. Prayed more for me to have a positive attitude the whole time and roll with all the ups and more importantly downs than for things to go smooth. I really don't know how my mom didn't kill me and Fred before a trip. It seems like we went all over the place, and she didn't tie us to a tree until time to go. I asked her this once and she said, "Wine." Yes, please! If I have twice the kids she does, does that entitle me to twice the wine? I'm going with YES.
The big kids will be hanging out with their dad on this trip, so it's just the 4 of us going on to Gulf Shores. Rain and thunderstorms and all. Lately I've been craving sun. Lots of it. So this has me a little upset. Hence the praying I don't drive D crazy being upset. God has this plan, and I need to go with it. (And I do keep saying that in my head).
Back to school is looming, and my big kids are growing like the weeds in my backyard. Out of control. I wish they would get rid of uniforms. Yes, they're easier. Blah. Blah. Blah. When I hear uniforms, I also hear my bank account crying. Tax free, thank you. Never on sale. Ever.

Updates on Isaac: He just had his 6 month review since starting Tn early intervention services. He has mastered one goal. One. And we did that before he even started therapy. No pacifiers. He now tries to repeat what you are asking him to say most of the time, however he does not spontaneously say words. We have to say the word first. And they are probably not really understandable for most people who don't see him all that often. Milk is more like "NIL". He does say GO pretty well now though. He seems to have lost the word car. He did have that for a while. Up sounds more like "UM" and it always comes in threes. "UM UM UM" Same with want. And that sounds just like the teacher off of Charlie Brown. "WAA WAA WAA" When he was diagnosed it was officially January. We did a ton of looking stuff up and said we would give it a year to see how he progressed. Then we would seriously talk about moving. I have dropped it since. A month ago we went to see someone at the Autism Society of the MidSouth to talk about his upcoming IEP meeting that will be the day before his birthday in October. We were there for 2 hours and got really great advice. She also told us, in all seriousness, if you really want to help him...MOVE. North. Since we got denied SSI for Isaac, D and I have decided to appeal that. If we get denied again, our options are get a lawyer or let it drop. We'll see how that all goes. It just appears that now Special Kids and Families school for Isaac is out. We are hoping SCS offers him all 5 days of school in October so he can get some of the help he needs. That scares the poo out of me. I'm hoping SCS comes through for him. They sure haven't for Brandon and he only has ADHD. We are now looking towards potty training for him. We are trying to be realistic that it will probably be 4 or older, but are going to start working on it Labor Day weekend.

D and I have realized that we aren't getting invited to things anymore. I asked him what he thought... and I asked if he thought it was because they are so many of us, I'm just a bitch sometimes (heh...sometimes), Isaac, or a combo. He said who knows. Which means he wasn't surprised by my question and noticed it too. So when Mandy invited us to Brandy's for her visit home we were soooo excited! It won't require that much money, we got a good size notice, and kids are welcome. Bonus!! I miss her, and don't get to see Brandy enough either. I am over the moon about this! It seems the planets, moon, and sun have to align just right for us to go to something, if we get invited, and I'm making them align this time. I can't wait to come!
I guess that has been enough for now. The 9 or 10 bags/luggage won't pack themselves. And for some reason the house won't clean itself either. Why it won't, I have no clue. Where did I lose my magic wand?

Sites have been launched.

D and I have gone ahead and made fb pages and an Etsy page for all the stuff we have been making! We have been super busy in our spare time. Every little bit we can think of to help Isaac we are trying! The therapies are hard sometimes, and our sleep is getting shorter and shorter all the time! He is doing alot more than he used to though and we are determined to help him as much as we can. Please "like" our fb page and share the links if you can to help us get the word out! We have our first transition meeting, going from TEIS  to SCS, in just over a week. The full transition won't be until the day before his birthday. When that happens we lose all the therapists. We are trying to save, trying to pay stuff off, trying to make extra money, in order to be more prepared for when we will have to pay for ABA. SCS does not do ABA therapy in schools. Mostly just speech and developmental. They also do physical, but Isaac doesn't need that now. So, we are looking into having to pay for ABA. ABA and OT have helped him the most so far since starting therapies.
D keeps making guitars, and I have been all over the place making stuff! Hair bows, diaper cakes, and my latest fun thing...soap! Cold process soap! I have had some wonderful batches come out, and then I did vanilla. Smells amazing...I guess I should have read the fine print that vanilla comes out brown in soap. Ha! Guess those will be for our home use! The oatmeal and honey came out absolutely fabulous!!! I just got colors for soap in, so I can't wait to try those out in the next few batches!
Please, please, please! Go "like" our facebook page and share! I will be posting giveaways when we are getting close to a certain number of "likes"! I think our first one will be at 25!!

www.facebook.com/handmadecreationsforcourtney

Thank you to all of our friends and family who continue to support us during our trials, therapies, regressions, and crazy times! Mayhem for sure!