As a whole, we are doing pretty good. We've been slammed with a ton of dr visits and copays lately but hopefully things are settling down! With D's help I've gotten my wire frame finished to hold all the bows I've been making for the ones I've haven't sold yet! I just got the shipment from Diapers.com for the diaper cakes I've been wanting to try too! D got all the stuff he needs to make about 5 of those guitars he's wanting to make. We are almost ready to start taking pics and start the Etsy store and FB store! I'm so excited, and although I'm aware that it could take months, I'm still positive about the whole venture. We are going to try so hard to make something work. After Isaac goes to bed, Landon is chilling on the couch and the big kids are settling down, I work on stuff and D works on his. Stuff we like doing, and when it starts working out it will be so beneficial to Isaac.
We are kinda confused about the whole "branding" thing, and paying someone to help us with that kinda stinks, but I want it to be the same: from the business cards to Etsy banners, logo and possible carryover to a fb page. I've got more research to do!
As I'm almost done with my own "bling" project, I've decided that my next fun thing to try is soap making. I've done some research on it and I can't wait to start!!! The bows, diaper cakes, guitars...well that's fun for us to do for Isaac. The soap is something that can be both...to sell for Isaac and fun and useful for us anyway :)
I think I have narrowed down or come up with a name for all this stuff...
Cute Creations for Courtney
But...if anyone can come up with something with Isaac in it, or anything better PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!! D isn't totally sold on the name, so we are still open for anything.
Originally I was thinking a soft green and cream for the colors, but I'm still flexible on that too. D doesn't give a poop ;)
The cloth diapers are absolutely wonderful. I wish, I wish, I wish I would have done this YEARS ago!!!! I'm hoping that the Mother's Day out will go for it, but not holding my breath.
Isaac's therapy is coming along. He can sign please, more and all done. D has gotten him to say "go" a few times and that is super exciting for us! We had to stop the additional speech therapy, we can't afford it anymore.
I got to have lunch Sunday with 2 of my favorite people and probably talked their poor ears off. Thanks for the afternoon out ladies! I loved it!
OOOoooooo gotta go!! Isaac's got my phone!
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Gypsy Sisters...wha....
In the few "free" days I get, sometimes the stars align just right and I can do chores AND watch my backed up DVR. Two of my fav shoes are Hotel Impossible (Love ya Anthony!), Long Island Medium and Gypsy Sisters. Now, when I say free days, I mean those rare Tuesday or Thursday hours between 930 and 240 when all kids are at school.....and I don't have 8 million errands to run. The rare days when all my chores can be done at home. Laundry, always. Mop, sometimes I can get there. Fixing something that broke, yep. When I can actually fold and watch I go through my stored up shows. The best one, deadliest catch I have to wait for D. Don't think he'd forgive me for that.
On to the Sisters. I do watch Big fat gypsy wedding and big fat American gypsy wedding too, but there are more episodes of gypsy sisters. I have a HUGE question for all you gypsies: WHAT IS YOUR NORMAL SCHEDULE, REALLY?!?! Alot of the show is drama, gossip, clothes, fashion, Mellie's issues, and stuff like that. Some of the show is gypsy traditions, superstitions, etc. Now, as a stay at home mom I am wondering when in the hell they get time to do the stuff I see on the show. I only have 4 kids and two dogs. And I am swamped. These ladies have more kids than I, house other people and their kids sometimes. I understand that the girls clean. Got that. And several times on the show I have heard the "matriarchs" say something along the lines of...we get up and clean top to bottom. And also... what normal people think of spring cleaning we do everyday. HUH? I've seen them clean here and there, do laundry here and there. Y'all, from the moment I wake up I am cleaning, switching loads, dishes, cooking, wiping up messes, etc. Sometimes I get to nap with the boys, but not everyday. And I'm not quite sure how much more I could get done in that hour that I'm not doing already. Spring cleaning takes me more than one hour. So... everyday y'all get up do normal everyday cleaning, and also spring cleaning?! Wipe down fridges between diaper changes then dust the ceiling fans before cooking breakfast or before lunch?! I'd like to know...really. You get this all done before meeting for lunch out somewhere and still had time to fix hair and makeup? I WANT A COPY OF YOUR CLEANING SCHEDULE LADIES. REALLY REALLY I DO. If nothing else than to try it for one day. I think my bedroom gets vacuumed once a week if that. (Shame on me, I know). So...how do you do it? And when I see you sit on your living room floor blinging something out (in what looks like early evening) with NO KIDS AROUND, I'm wondering where's your 9 kids? If I even thought about doing stuff like that in the middle of my living room before 845pm I would have to fight off little ones from messing with the stuff, or worse playing with the plugged in hot glue gun. No, I didn't see any little people messing with stuff they aren't supposed to. And this blog is in no way criticising the way the culture is. I'm thoroughly in shock if these ladies pull off everyday cleaning, spring type cleaning, all laundry, cooking etc in one whole day...everyday. Much less being done in time to get all dressed up to go to lunch or go get their nails done. Jealous by the way. Not that the hubby wouldn't let me get them done every week, but that we don't have the money for that. :)
Ladies...I want a copy of your daily schedule pronto!
On to the Sisters. I do watch Big fat gypsy wedding and big fat American gypsy wedding too, but there are more episodes of gypsy sisters. I have a HUGE question for all you gypsies: WHAT IS YOUR NORMAL SCHEDULE, REALLY?!?! Alot of the show is drama, gossip, clothes, fashion, Mellie's issues, and stuff like that. Some of the show is gypsy traditions, superstitions, etc. Now, as a stay at home mom I am wondering when in the hell they get time to do the stuff I see on the show. I only have 4 kids and two dogs. And I am swamped. These ladies have more kids than I, house other people and their kids sometimes. I understand that the girls clean. Got that. And several times on the show I have heard the "matriarchs" say something along the lines of...we get up and clean top to bottom. And also... what normal people think of spring cleaning we do everyday. HUH? I've seen them clean here and there, do laundry here and there. Y'all, from the moment I wake up I am cleaning, switching loads, dishes, cooking, wiping up messes, etc. Sometimes I get to nap with the boys, but not everyday. And I'm not quite sure how much more I could get done in that hour that I'm not doing already. Spring cleaning takes me more than one hour. So... everyday y'all get up do normal everyday cleaning, and also spring cleaning?! Wipe down fridges between diaper changes then dust the ceiling fans before cooking breakfast or before lunch?! I'd like to know...really. You get this all done before meeting for lunch out somewhere and still had time to fix hair and makeup? I WANT A COPY OF YOUR CLEANING SCHEDULE LADIES. REALLY REALLY I DO. If nothing else than to try it for one day. I think my bedroom gets vacuumed once a week if that. (Shame on me, I know). So...how do you do it? And when I see you sit on your living room floor blinging something out (in what looks like early evening) with NO KIDS AROUND, I'm wondering where's your 9 kids? If I even thought about doing stuff like that in the middle of my living room before 845pm I would have to fight off little ones from messing with the stuff, or worse playing with the plugged in hot glue gun. No, I didn't see any little people messing with stuff they aren't supposed to. And this blog is in no way criticising the way the culture is. I'm thoroughly in shock if these ladies pull off everyday cleaning, spring type cleaning, all laundry, cooking etc in one whole day...everyday. Much less being done in time to get all dressed up to go to lunch or go get their nails done. Jealous by the way. Not that the hubby wouldn't let me get them done every week, but that we don't have the money for that. :)
Ladies...I want a copy of your daily schedule pronto!
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Finally got a minute to update! Yay!
With the weather being so wet/icy/cold and crazy, I've been kinda busy lately! D has had to work alot, and with some crazy hours! With Landon being sick week before last, and Brandon having a cold thing last week I've been swamped with the sick bugs. Cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning is what we did this weekend! My house looks the same....yet I know it's cleaner :) I was able to take an hour and go to the Kidstown consignment sale and get Isaac some puzzles that one of his therapist recommends. And we left right from there to go to Urgent Care for D. Poor hubby had a gout flare up in his ankle and was finally off work to go see someone about it. He is now almost over the limp. Yay!
Now that I have somewhat calmed down after my wonderful breakdown and everyone is in pretty good health, maybe Thursday when everyone is in school I can finally go meet the nephew and if April's up for it go see her and Ms. Cassetty. Just seeing pictures aren't doing it!
I keep posting the gofundme link on fb, so if you get a second please share even if cannot donate! Jack did pay for his speech until the first week of March, and then we are going to have to stop it. We're hoping that by then TEIS speech will start, but there is no guarantee, and he will only get it once a week. We know the psychologist recommended minimum of twice a week, but we aren't able to do that. So please go share the link, thanks!! He is now saying Mamamamama...but doesn't stop with like mama. He is working on the M sound, so we're happy. He is still signing please wonderfully and finally doing the sign for more. We are working on the concepts of UP and DOWN, waving bye bye when D leaves for work, and the word CAR (his favorite toys and favorite movie)! He is also working on IN and OUT. Putting beans in ice trays and taking them back out. He seems to really like doing that!
In more odd news, and since we are looking at Isaac possibly being in diapers for a year or more to come (although we are working on that in therapy slowly) we have invested in cloth diapers. Very few will fit my big boy, and when I told Carol she said no. LMAO. I'm guessing as with most people, she isn't aware cloth diapers have come a long way since they used them and honestly I can't wait til the big bunch gets here so I can get started. This happens to be one of those "If I'd know he would be in them this long, we would have done this from the start." This start up will pay for itself and be a money saver by the time he is 3. I will update on how that is going.
All in all, having today (well, from 930-230) to catch up on stuff that has been needing to be done, and relax for a few minutes has been so great. With sick kids, and I do clean my aunts house one all school day every two weeks, the pool overflow fiasco, it has felt like I was so swamped I couldn't breath. Insert my mom who came and saved me on Thursday. Super Nana. As soon as she teaches me how to sew...I'm going to make her that cape. Sparkly and all. And she did say she'd teach me how to sew! I am truly and eagerly and not so patiently waiting...I'm super excited!
Gotta go! There goes the dryer. Time to switch the clothes!
Now that I have somewhat calmed down after my wonderful breakdown and everyone is in pretty good health, maybe Thursday when everyone is in school I can finally go meet the nephew and if April's up for it go see her and Ms. Cassetty. Just seeing pictures aren't doing it!
I keep posting the gofundme link on fb, so if you get a second please share even if cannot donate! Jack did pay for his speech until the first week of March, and then we are going to have to stop it. We're hoping that by then TEIS speech will start, but there is no guarantee, and he will only get it once a week. We know the psychologist recommended minimum of twice a week, but we aren't able to do that. So please go share the link, thanks!! He is now saying Mamamamama...but doesn't stop with like mama. He is working on the M sound, so we're happy. He is still signing please wonderfully and finally doing the sign for more. We are working on the concepts of UP and DOWN, waving bye bye when D leaves for work, and the word CAR (his favorite toys and favorite movie)! He is also working on IN and OUT. Putting beans in ice trays and taking them back out. He seems to really like doing that!
In more odd news, and since we are looking at Isaac possibly being in diapers for a year or more to come (although we are working on that in therapy slowly) we have invested in cloth diapers. Very few will fit my big boy, and when I told Carol she said no. LMAO. I'm guessing as with most people, she isn't aware cloth diapers have come a long way since they used them and honestly I can't wait til the big bunch gets here so I can get started. This happens to be one of those "If I'd know he would be in them this long, we would have done this from the start." This start up will pay for itself and be a money saver by the time he is 3. I will update on how that is going.
All in all, having today (well, from 930-230) to catch up on stuff that has been needing to be done, and relax for a few minutes has been so great. With sick kids, and I do clean my aunts house one all school day every two weeks, the pool overflow fiasco, it has felt like I was so swamped I couldn't breath. Insert my mom who came and saved me on Thursday. Super Nana. As soon as she teaches me how to sew...I'm going to make her that cape. Sparkly and all. And she did say she'd teach me how to sew! I am truly and eagerly and not so patiently waiting...I'm super excited!
Gotta go! There goes the dryer. Time to switch the clothes!
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
I've about hit that point.
You think you are on the verge of having a true nervous breakdown, and something happens to realize you weren't close. It goes from somewhat manageable to bad, then bad to worse. Something gives you a glimmer of hope then splat. Just kidding. That's when you realize you were a bit farther from that breakdown then you realized. You think now you are to that point...waiting on the "other shoe to drop" or however you want to phrase it. You search for inspirational quotes on fb or where ever, hoping one will get you back to that place where you can count the blessings you do have. You try to not listen to other's negativity without 1. imputing your own (other people need to vent too) 2. stopping them from venting (you have enough venting to do of your own and know how it is to need to vent) 3. shoving false bubbles and happiness up their ass (some people just need a moment of sad). Everyone has issues, different journeys, paths they were meant to take etc. I get it, really I do. Karma and blah blah blah. Yeah, I've done some super shitty stuff....but I think I've also done my time in Hell. The past few days I have been trying to get to that turning point of "It'll get better" and I can't find it. Am I on the verge of depression...nope. I am completely overwhelmed and sad. I'll explain the sad in a bit.
Yes, Isaac as a whole is very overwhelming. If you look at Isaac as a super grown 8 month old, he is completely awesome. I know where he "should" be and I know what he's "not doing" that is in range for his age. What my baby is- is extremely predictable. I know when he's going to want lunch. He's repetitive, I know what he's going to want for lunch. I know he's going to run from me every single time I go to change his diaper. I know if it has wheels, I need to keep him away from it unless I have to money to buy it. He's gonna grab it, not let it go, and put it straight in his mouth. Now that his official diagnosis is here and there's a shitload of stuff he needs and stuff that we have to work on I'm overwhelmed. Change is hard for me...I adjust. Change is 20 times worse for him and mostly he tolerates it, but it's becoming rough for him and we just started. Somewhere I read that parents of Autistic children have the same constant stress levels as a soldier in active duty. It appears that in the next year, I might find out what that could imply and at the present time I don't have a job to add to that stress. I might not ever know that...but I'm worried that D might.
We were told that we might be able to get grants or things like that to help with Isaac's therapy needs and some websites to visit to research this. I will be doing this tonight. Social Security has a section of SSI benefits that pertain to children with disabilities and we have explored that route. It seemed to us that the hard part about that was qualifying income wise for that . Well, we are so fucking broke that we qualify for it. We are denied because D has that land in Arkansas that he bought the ex out of. For SSI you cannot have more than a $2000 resource. Well, we owe $41k on it. It appraised for $54k. Math genius I am not, but can realize that is more than $2k. I explained to the lady at SSA that since it is vacant land in vacation area we would not be able to sell it even if we wanted to. There is no market for that now. In the appraisal it even states to sell it we would have to reduce the asking price well under it's appraisal. Add in closing costs and we would be lucky to break even, much less have more than $2k out of it. They don't care. I'll be receiving our official denial letter any day now. D said even if we put it out there for sale for $40k we wouldn't probably even get an offer. He also said that if we couldn't sell it, it couldn't be counted as a resource. When he said that, I just knew we might be fighting this. Appeal, or whatever. More research for me. He's got enough to do. And I'm tired already. That would have paid for just over half of the recommend therapies Isaac needs. (I'm not counting the recommended DAILY speech therapy..just rolling with the 2 times a week).
D and I have been going to look at private schools/developmental preschools and finally I told him yesterday I won't anymore. We can't pay for anything, and I'm not going to exhaust myself trying to even figure out where that would be coming from. Once we were told on the phone we qualified for SSI based on income, I got my hopes up that we could swing a preschool, etc. When that door slammed, I realized how far away from breakdown I am.
I was sick last week, D is sick now, Landon is super sick and having high fevers. Trying to pull off all of these visits is draining. My mom and Carol are helping out with babysitting and stuff. Little blessings. And it's getting bad that I'm having to constantly remind myself of those.
I am now in the Autism moms fb group for the mid south area, and honestly what the moms on that panel say about Shelby County schools, IEPs, and problems I am scared to death to send Isaac to preschool there when the time comes in October. I am truly scared and don't want him to go. We have no other choice. The only thing that we've got is that when the next "school" year starts, Isaac will no longer be going to his mother's day out program and Carol has said that she will give us that money she would have been paying for that to get him additional speech therapy. The speech therapy that he goes to now once a week Jack paid for. He gave us enough money for therapy for January, February and the first week in March. After that, he will only be doing what speech he gets from TEIS. So for February he will get speech twice a week. Once from Jack's money and once from TEIS, then he will go back to once a week through TEIS.
To be told that your child needs something daily...and you can't even provide it for once a week (TEIS paying for it) makes you sad. To be told that he needs a special preschool and you can't afford it makes you sad. How am I doing my job?! I'm not. And that's what hurts so bad. He needs so much more than I can do for him financially and it's killing me. I've gone through so much anger with this than anything. Oh and how many why's I've said lately. Why wasn't I smarter about money and now can't afford anything that he needs?! (And I really mean I, not we as in D and I). Stuff like that. No changing the past and all that crap. Sometimes shit like that just doesn't help when said to you. I think that has made me more tired than anything.
I told D the other day, we need a big God Damn break. Yep, cussing, using God's name in vain. In a few words all my ugly came out. I meant it too. We need a God Damn Fucking BREAK. A BIG ONE. I don't mean something simple like the fridge actually working for longer than 2 weeks. I would get Karma and all that crap if it just effecting me or my day. My kids and D having to pay for any shitty thing I did in the past shouldn't keep continuing. So honestly I'm not counting that. Do I think I just set myself up for a disaster...maybe but it's how I feel. Do I wish ill on anyone...hell no. Do I wish for anyone to ever struggle like this...never. Do I understand that there are people worse off then me....absolutely. Does that knowledge help...not at this minute. My mom hasn't been able to keep the kids in a while (she's having her own sick battles and I pray for her) and when Carol keeps them the time she has them is shorter and shorter and shorter. Yeah yeah I'm being a totally selfish ungrateful bitch, but honestly I could give two shits right now. I shouldn't be expecting some big break or anything but a few months or something of breathing room would soooooooo damn nice. Not from kids, from overload stress. Hey everyone has bills, issues, stresses...but ours are compounding. And I feel bad for D.
I will probably be calling the doctor today to take Landon in either this afternoon and tomorrow. After that copay, and possible medicine my grocery budget this week will be less than half of what it normally is. Sob story...absolutely. And this is my best way to get it out. My mom, I'm sure is tired of hearing it by now and she's got enough negativity on her plate to last a lifetime), Ann I'm sure is tired of hearing it too, and the only other person I really talk to is April...and I'm not calling her and dragging her down! (She's got enough too and she's about to have that beautiful baby girl!).
I've been so sick lately, then D got the sick, now Landon that my nephew is over a week old and I haven't even met him yet.
I've already done D's taxes for this year, and although that will help relieve some credit cards stress we are having it will not help for the immediate minute. The benefits of putting it on the card will pay off in the long run more than it will in the immediate future. Having to look at both is exhausting too.
This post is not for anyone to feel bad for us, just for me to vent. I set up that gofundme page and they still won't post it for strangers to fund me until I hit that $100 mark first. I've noticed that alot of fb "friends" are sharing other people's gofundme posts for things like college tuition and stuff..if you can share that please take 2 seconds to share mine when I post it. That really will only be used for Isaac. As a house we can maintain daily stuff. We cannot afford any extras (dinner out, field trips for the kids etc) and so when I mean we are not able to give isaac any therapies..I mean it. One therapy a week takes my grocery budget from $144 a week for 6 people to $99 a week.
Here's his link: http://www.gofundme.com/5ywwdw
Any other help we can use besides financially? Absolutely! I have read that immunizations can be harsh to those with Autism...do I think they cause it no. Am I going to stop them...no. But, I have heard rumors that you can request them split up. Some that come in one shot can be split into separate ones and can be given over the course of 2 to 3 weeks. One every week or something. Do i really wanna go to the dr that much, no. Does it help not overload his immune system and therefore better for Isaac...well that's what I don't know. Maybe someone can look that shit up for me. I can't afford shitloads of ink or laminating stuff and heard it was cheaper to print your own PECS cards. Print one page out for us. Like Bath time pic or diaper pic or hell, anything. Would love for it to be in color. I am not above begging, but not in such bad shape yet to bug. That's why I won't be posting the link for this post on fb.
Like I said, wanna help and don't have any money...please share his go fund me link on fb or maybe print us a page for his PECS cards. We can't have enough. One set here, one at carol's, one at mom's, one at his mother's day out.
To those who do read this, thanks for letting me vent. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
Yes, Isaac as a whole is very overwhelming. If you look at Isaac as a super grown 8 month old, he is completely awesome. I know where he "should" be and I know what he's "not doing" that is in range for his age. What my baby is- is extremely predictable. I know when he's going to want lunch. He's repetitive, I know what he's going to want for lunch. I know he's going to run from me every single time I go to change his diaper. I know if it has wheels, I need to keep him away from it unless I have to money to buy it. He's gonna grab it, not let it go, and put it straight in his mouth. Now that his official diagnosis is here and there's a shitload of stuff he needs and stuff that we have to work on I'm overwhelmed. Change is hard for me...I adjust. Change is 20 times worse for him and mostly he tolerates it, but it's becoming rough for him and we just started. Somewhere I read that parents of Autistic children have the same constant stress levels as a soldier in active duty. It appears that in the next year, I might find out what that could imply and at the present time I don't have a job to add to that stress. I might not ever know that...but I'm worried that D might.
We were told that we might be able to get grants or things like that to help with Isaac's therapy needs and some websites to visit to research this. I will be doing this tonight. Social Security has a section of SSI benefits that pertain to children with disabilities and we have explored that route. It seemed to us that the hard part about that was qualifying income wise for that . Well, we are so fucking broke that we qualify for it. We are denied because D has that land in Arkansas that he bought the ex out of. For SSI you cannot have more than a $2000 resource. Well, we owe $41k on it. It appraised for $54k. Math genius I am not, but can realize that is more than $2k. I explained to the lady at SSA that since it is vacant land in vacation area we would not be able to sell it even if we wanted to. There is no market for that now. In the appraisal it even states to sell it we would have to reduce the asking price well under it's appraisal. Add in closing costs and we would be lucky to break even, much less have more than $2k out of it. They don't care. I'll be receiving our official denial letter any day now. D said even if we put it out there for sale for $40k we wouldn't probably even get an offer. He also said that if we couldn't sell it, it couldn't be counted as a resource. When he said that, I just knew we might be fighting this. Appeal, or whatever. More research for me. He's got enough to do. And I'm tired already. That would have paid for just over half of the recommend therapies Isaac needs. (I'm not counting the recommended DAILY speech therapy..just rolling with the 2 times a week).
D and I have been going to look at private schools/developmental preschools and finally I told him yesterday I won't anymore. We can't pay for anything, and I'm not going to exhaust myself trying to even figure out where that would be coming from. Once we were told on the phone we qualified for SSI based on income, I got my hopes up that we could swing a preschool, etc. When that door slammed, I realized how far away from breakdown I am.
I was sick last week, D is sick now, Landon is super sick and having high fevers. Trying to pull off all of these visits is draining. My mom and Carol are helping out with babysitting and stuff. Little blessings. And it's getting bad that I'm having to constantly remind myself of those.
I am now in the Autism moms fb group for the mid south area, and honestly what the moms on that panel say about Shelby County schools, IEPs, and problems I am scared to death to send Isaac to preschool there when the time comes in October. I am truly scared and don't want him to go. We have no other choice. The only thing that we've got is that when the next "school" year starts, Isaac will no longer be going to his mother's day out program and Carol has said that she will give us that money she would have been paying for that to get him additional speech therapy. The speech therapy that he goes to now once a week Jack paid for. He gave us enough money for therapy for January, February and the first week in March. After that, he will only be doing what speech he gets from TEIS. So for February he will get speech twice a week. Once from Jack's money and once from TEIS, then he will go back to once a week through TEIS.
To be told that your child needs something daily...and you can't even provide it for once a week (TEIS paying for it) makes you sad. To be told that he needs a special preschool and you can't afford it makes you sad. How am I doing my job?! I'm not. And that's what hurts so bad. He needs so much more than I can do for him financially and it's killing me. I've gone through so much anger with this than anything. Oh and how many why's I've said lately. Why wasn't I smarter about money and now can't afford anything that he needs?! (And I really mean I, not we as in D and I). Stuff like that. No changing the past and all that crap. Sometimes shit like that just doesn't help when said to you. I think that has made me more tired than anything.
I told D the other day, we need a big God Damn break. Yep, cussing, using God's name in vain. In a few words all my ugly came out. I meant it too. We need a God Damn Fucking BREAK. A BIG ONE. I don't mean something simple like the fridge actually working for longer than 2 weeks. I would get Karma and all that crap if it just effecting me or my day. My kids and D having to pay for any shitty thing I did in the past shouldn't keep continuing. So honestly I'm not counting that. Do I think I just set myself up for a disaster...maybe but it's how I feel. Do I wish ill on anyone...hell no. Do I wish for anyone to ever struggle like this...never. Do I understand that there are people worse off then me....absolutely. Does that knowledge help...not at this minute. My mom hasn't been able to keep the kids in a while (she's having her own sick battles and I pray for her) and when Carol keeps them the time she has them is shorter and shorter and shorter. Yeah yeah I'm being a totally selfish ungrateful bitch, but honestly I could give two shits right now. I shouldn't be expecting some big break or anything but a few months or something of breathing room would soooooooo damn nice. Not from kids, from overload stress. Hey everyone has bills, issues, stresses...but ours are compounding. And I feel bad for D.
I will probably be calling the doctor today to take Landon in either this afternoon and tomorrow. After that copay, and possible medicine my grocery budget this week will be less than half of what it normally is. Sob story...absolutely. And this is my best way to get it out. My mom, I'm sure is tired of hearing it by now and she's got enough negativity on her plate to last a lifetime), Ann I'm sure is tired of hearing it too, and the only other person I really talk to is April...and I'm not calling her and dragging her down! (She's got enough too and she's about to have that beautiful baby girl!).
I've been so sick lately, then D got the sick, now Landon that my nephew is over a week old and I haven't even met him yet.
I've already done D's taxes for this year, and although that will help relieve some credit cards stress we are having it will not help for the immediate minute. The benefits of putting it on the card will pay off in the long run more than it will in the immediate future. Having to look at both is exhausting too.
This post is not for anyone to feel bad for us, just for me to vent. I set up that gofundme page and they still won't post it for strangers to fund me until I hit that $100 mark first. I've noticed that alot of fb "friends" are sharing other people's gofundme posts for things like college tuition and stuff..if you can share that please take 2 seconds to share mine when I post it. That really will only be used for Isaac. As a house we can maintain daily stuff. We cannot afford any extras (dinner out, field trips for the kids etc) and so when I mean we are not able to give isaac any therapies..I mean it. One therapy a week takes my grocery budget from $144 a week for 6 people to $99 a week.
Here's his link: http://www.gofundme.com/5ywwdw
Any other help we can use besides financially? Absolutely! I have read that immunizations can be harsh to those with Autism...do I think they cause it no. Am I going to stop them...no. But, I have heard rumors that you can request them split up. Some that come in one shot can be split into separate ones and can be given over the course of 2 to 3 weeks. One every week or something. Do i really wanna go to the dr that much, no. Does it help not overload his immune system and therefore better for Isaac...well that's what I don't know. Maybe someone can look that shit up for me. I can't afford shitloads of ink or laminating stuff and heard it was cheaper to print your own PECS cards. Print one page out for us. Like Bath time pic or diaper pic or hell, anything. Would love for it to be in color. I am not above begging, but not in such bad shape yet to bug. That's why I won't be posting the link for this post on fb.
Like I said, wanna help and don't have any money...please share his go fund me link on fb or maybe print us a page for his PECS cards. We can't have enough. One set here, one at carol's, one at mom's, one at his mother's day out.
To those who do read this, thanks for letting me vent. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
Official Psychologist results for Isaac
Isaac's Behavior Rating Scale results:
- Extremely low range for Conceptual skills (ex:communication)
- Extremely low range for Social skills
- Extremely low range for Practical skills
-Relative strength in community use domain.( Knowing we are home when drive into driveway)
-Severe range for deficiencies in reciprocal social behavior.
Diagnosis: 1. Autism Spectrum Disorder
2. Language Disorder (Severe expressive and receptive delay)
I will at some point post thoughts/feelings/whatever on a separate post right after this one.
Verbal and written recommendations for Isaac for now:
-There's no such thing as too much therapy for Isaac right now. The more the better.
-DT, OT, ABA and Speech. Do them all as much as possible.
-Speech therapy was recommended by Speech evaluator for twice a week, Psychologist recommends daily therapy sessions in speech.
-Enroll Isaac in a developmental preschool environment as soon as possible.
Isaac has speech one time a week as of now. He also has DT once a week for an hour now. He is now on Melatonin at night to help him sleep.
These are the basics that we have right now.
Developmental Therapist is working on Isaac's fine motor skills this week, as well as communication. We have been working with him on signs. Last week we were taught 4 signs (All done, more, please and thank you). He has not mastered these yet. We have been taught another 4 (want, drink, eat, and help). He has not mastered these yet.
There's the facts! Emotional post coming soon!
- Extremely low range for Conceptual skills (ex:communication)
- Extremely low range for Social skills
- Extremely low range for Practical skills
-Relative strength in community use domain.( Knowing we are home when drive into driveway)
-Severe range for deficiencies in reciprocal social behavior.
Diagnosis: 1. Autism Spectrum Disorder
2. Language Disorder (Severe expressive and receptive delay)
I will at some point post thoughts/feelings/whatever on a separate post right after this one.
Verbal and written recommendations for Isaac for now:
-There's no such thing as too much therapy for Isaac right now. The more the better.
-DT, OT, ABA and Speech. Do them all as much as possible.
-Speech therapy was recommended by Speech evaluator for twice a week, Psychologist recommends daily therapy sessions in speech.
-Enroll Isaac in a developmental preschool environment as soon as possible.
Isaac has speech one time a week as of now. He also has DT once a week for an hour now. He is now on Melatonin at night to help him sleep.
These are the basics that we have right now.
Developmental Therapist is working on Isaac's fine motor skills this week, as well as communication. We have been working with him on signs. Last week we were taught 4 signs (All done, more, please and thank you). He has not mastered these yet. We have been taught another 4 (want, drink, eat, and help). He has not mastered these yet.
There's the facts! Emotional post coming soon!
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Happy Birthday Dennis!
Today, my husband turns 35! We already kinda celebrated Saturday night with my friends (thanks again to April,Brandy, Ann, Taylor, Mary, Wade, my sweet Jessica, and my parents) for coming out to dinner with us! Ann and Taylor...since you're not on fb...thank you so much for the Saucer and that thing in the beer fridge! Love you so much! Sunday night we went to his mom and Jack's for dinner and cake (R2D2 recognizable to Landon so it wasn't that bad ;)!
I am so blessed to have him in my life! He is an amazing husband and can make me laugh when I'm furious...how I don't know, he just does. He is an awesome father! He's that parent that makes it look so easy while not being a pushover...again how...I don't know! He rocks. Literally. I love listening to him playing guitar when he thinks I'm asleep! He can do almost any voice you can think of. And sound just like them. It's hilarious and again I have no idea how he does it!
Since the hubby puts up with all my crap daily, I totally gave in to him and we won't be going to Disney this year. He really really really wanted to go on this 7 day cruise, so we booked it at the beginning of this week. They were offering reduced deposits, and we can make payments over time, so we are going to get passports and have some alone time without kiddos. Yay!!! Topper to that...we are leaving out of New Orleans on a Sunday in Sept...so planning for something I know he REALLY wants...we are going to go to the LSU game the day before the cruise leaves. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND ANNIVERSARY BABY! 235 days til the game, 236 days til the cruise!!!
Thank you baby for all of your love, patience, selflessness, and happiness that you share with me! I need it, and I'm never without it. You spoil me rotten and hardly ever say no. Here's to many more birthdays and wonderful experiences (once in a lifetime and everyday) that I can't wait to share with you!
I am so blessed to have him in my life! He is an amazing husband and can make me laugh when I'm furious...how I don't know, he just does. He is an awesome father! He's that parent that makes it look so easy while not being a pushover...again how...I don't know! He rocks. Literally. I love listening to him playing guitar when he thinks I'm asleep! He can do almost any voice you can think of. And sound just like them. It's hilarious and again I have no idea how he does it!
Since the hubby puts up with all my crap daily, I totally gave in to him and we won't be going to Disney this year. He really really really wanted to go on this 7 day cruise, so we booked it at the beginning of this week. They were offering reduced deposits, and we can make payments over time, so we are going to get passports and have some alone time without kiddos. Yay!!! Topper to that...we are leaving out of New Orleans on a Sunday in Sept...so planning for something I know he REALLY wants...we are going to go to the LSU game the day before the cruise leaves. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND ANNIVERSARY BABY! 235 days til the game, 236 days til the cruise!!!
Thank you baby for all of your love, patience, selflessness, and happiness that you share with me! I need it, and I'm never without it. You spoil me rotten and hardly ever say no. Here's to many more birthdays and wonderful experiences (once in a lifetime and everyday) that I can't wait to share with you!
Sunday, January 12, 2014
My calendar is getting full!
So many things are happening, and in just a short time! Trying to get with D, my mom, and Carol with our crazy calendars has been a bit hard. We now have Isaac doing speech therapy once a week, going through someone on our own. TEIS came out Friday after his evaluation to go over our IFP, individual family plan. He will get speech through them once a week too. Looks like he will get ABA and OT once a week from them as well. She said we may be able to get DT from them as many times a week as we can handle...we'll see. I'm all for doing as much as he can handle. When the psychologist tells you that "There is no such thing as too much therapy" for your child it kind of hits you. I have gone through most, if not all, of the stages of grief by now. I'm finally at acceptance. And it didn't really hit me until she said that quote in the above sentence. Denial...thought well maybe it was just his speech. Bargaining...I'm not sure if I did this...that's why I put most of them. Depression...oh yes. I had this. Probably why I couldn't bring myself to blog this past week. I was sad for the future his awesomeness deserves, within all aspects of life but mostly it was that he might not be able to go to the best school he needs (more on that in a later post). I also hit depression knowing that I will be his advocate. D will do whatever I ask, but I will have to be the one to research, fight for, and keep all his appts and shit together. Overwhelming. *Side note, to all the single parents who have a child with autism and are rocking it, I fully bow in respsect to you.* Anger, I had a ton. It was coming out of everywhere about everything to everyone. It's a good thing that I didn't talk to some people or I might not be able to salvage some friendships/relationships. I think my mom understood what was happening more than I did, and just let it slide. Who has the best mom ever...I DO. Be jealous. Really. The only way I can say that I am finally in acceptance is I don't feel the anger anymore and I'm actually getting excited about the upcoming full weekend I have. It doesn't feel like stress anymore, or just more things to do...I'm actually wanting it to hurry up and get here.
Friday...baby Ethan should be here.
Saturday lunch...baby shower for April and little Cassetty
Saturday night...Dinner for Dennis's bday..I wanted nothing more than to keep it a secret, but with the help of confusion I had to break down and tell him. Good thing I did though cause I forgot to ask someone (they since have been invited, and hope they show up). I feel horrible about that.
Sunday...my Scentsy party! If you can come please do! It's at 1pm. I'll have food and Mary will have the awesome smelling stuff! Please come help support Mary and shop...and maybe I can get something half priced!!
As I try to get into what is the start of our new routine, I'm hoping to find my groove quickly. This winging it stuff is for the birds.
Now, gotta go finish reorganizing the kitchen drawers before the boys get home from MuMus. I haven't found that balance of trying to hurry up and finish that list of stuff I can't do while they are here and just plain sitting down doing nothing while they are gone. With everyone's calendars getting so full...when they aren't here the time is less and less each time they are gone. I should not complain. I should not complain. I should not complain. I'm having to tell myself that alot lately.
Balance, I shall find.
Go, I must.
;)
Friday...baby Ethan should be here.
Saturday lunch...baby shower for April and little Cassetty
Saturday night...Dinner for Dennis's bday..I wanted nothing more than to keep it a secret, but with the help of confusion I had to break down and tell him. Good thing I did though cause I forgot to ask someone (they since have been invited, and hope they show up). I feel horrible about that.
Sunday...my Scentsy party! If you can come please do! It's at 1pm. I'll have food and Mary will have the awesome smelling stuff! Please come help support Mary and shop...and maybe I can get something half priced!!
As I try to get into what is the start of our new routine, I'm hoping to find my groove quickly. This winging it stuff is for the birds.
Now, gotta go finish reorganizing the kitchen drawers before the boys get home from MuMus. I haven't found that balance of trying to hurry up and finish that list of stuff I can't do while they are here and just plain sitting down doing nothing while they are gone. With everyone's calendars getting so full...when they aren't here the time is less and less each time they are gone. I should not complain. I should not complain. I should not complain. I'm having to tell myself that alot lately.
Balance, I shall find.
Go, I must.
;)
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