Meltdowns...

Friday really took a toll on me. I was supposed to clean my aunt's house, and was getting everything all ready to go. The plan was: big kids off to school, then drop Isaac off at school, Carol pick up Landon, go watch Jessica's play (which was awesome!), go clean Mimi's house. This is what happened: big kids on bus, Isaac woke up having a fit, Isaac had some sort of meltdown over I don't know what every 3 minutes the entire morning, Isaac wanted to lay on the sidewalk, NO then he wanted to be held, he wanted the back pack on...oh wait no he doesn't....THE ENTIRE WALK TO THE SCHOOL DOORS. He wanted to flop and literally just lay in the middle of the sidewalks, crosswalk, and in front of the gym door. I was carrying him to the school...while his 42 lb self was flopping and fighting me the entire time. After almost 2 hours of back to back meltdowns, and finally getting him in the school classroom all I could do was walk back to the car with Landon and try to cry without letting Landon see just how tired I was. I called my mom crying. I called my aunt crying and asked to clean another day. Carol picked up Landon. I went to the school, saw Jess in her play. Then I followed the assistant principal and gave him a piece of my mind about Brandon still not having a uniform. Yes, I threatened discrimination. I came home and cried some more and tried to just pick up the house. Clearing out clutter maybe to help clear out my mind. I probably should have just gone on and cleaned Mimi's, so I wouldn't feel like I still need to hurry up and do something.
I thought I was doing better today, then somebody came to the door and was going to do the flowerbeds. Yep, I hate them and worked it out that they would take most of the shit out. Guess what?! That's right...they did two bushes and left with my money. Lesson learned the hard way. So after cleaning up the mess they left this afternoon I cried some more about the money that was gone that D works so hard for. All because I wanted the front of the house to look better and I'm too lazy to do that shit myself. I guess they really need that more than I did. I'm trying to not dwell on it too much. I was about to post something (vent) on the autism fb site then I read something and it made me cry again (happy tears though) and I wanted to share with those who can't see it...
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

October Mischief!

We've had birthdays galore around here, and new schedules and schools and it's been crazy! Jess turned 14, Isaac turned 3 and Halloween is 2 days away!!!
Isaac update: He is now 3, which means all of his therapies have stopped. He is now going to ChimneyRock and receiving speech 2 times a week for only 30 min and OT for 30 min. That is not anywhere near enough for him. He is doing really well with the new routine and seems to love the classroom! He has said pumpkin (mostly right) and nana! He has had a few new words but mostly we are working on putting 2 words he already knows together... ex: want cup.
I'm stressing a bit about Christmas, but I'm trying to just let it go and enjoy the time I will get with all my family. My favorite part of the year is coming and I'm more excited than stressed this year. It's a nice change.
Since Isaac has school 5 days a week now, and Landon has it 2 days a week...I have been cleaning my rear off! My house was so dirty I couldn't believe it! Every day I do a different set of rooms...literally from top to bottom. Cabinets, chair rails, lights, baseboards, blinds...everything. It takes me about 3 hours everyday to do one room, or two small rooms. It is seeming to be really great exercise for me and I hope I'm sweating some of the weight off!!! I'm also trying to walk more. I have a HUGE goal for myself and I'm having to take baby steps though and not jump right in. My new goal...do the Disney Princess Half in 2016. The one coming up in 2015 is sold out. So, even though it's a year away....I'm horribly out of shape and still counting down. D said that if I'm ready to run it by July, we'll go. So even though it's not until next Feb for me, I have until July to prove that I can do it. My brother and mom seem to think that I could...so I'm going off their faith and going to do my best to get there.
This will be Jess and Brandon's last year for trick or treating, so they plan on making the most of it! Landon will be batman, and Isaac will be Robin. We plan on having so much fun Friday taking them around the block then passing out candy! I'll post pics Saturday hopefully!
This has been a really rough year for us. We have struggled so much all year. If anyone would like to help I will post our gofundme link on fb and also I have created a wish list for Christmas. I think the big kids have lost their minds with their lists, but I put it all on there for them anyway. Some people don't like donating money, so I put lots of things on the amazon wish list if anyone wants to help out but not send money! Every little bit helps. It was a total shock to me that, even he's so young, Isaac had to have uniforms.
Well, hopefully I can update the blog more often now that after cleaning in the morning I can sit for a few in the afternoon!

Here's our Amazon List link....that also has target and walmart stuff on it too...
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/1HOB6VCWKVTTJ/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1_1

Garage sale and moving talks.

With the neighborhood garage sale coming up this Friday and Saturday, I've been going around the house trying to get everything we don't use or need to try to get rid of it. It seems that most of what we have is clothes! I need more wire hangers like crazy, so if anyone has any please let me know!!! I asked D to take off Friday, even though technically it's only supposed to be Saturday, because we do it both days. The big kids are out of school so they can help too. D is not letting me get rid of alot of stuff we don't use or need and is doing nothing but collecting dust! Anyone else feel like they live with a hoarder?! I know he's not that bad, and some things have emotional value, but we really don't need all this stuff! I'm also hoping that someone will be selling funnel cakes and corn dogs again this year...that might be my favorite part of the neighborhood being so busy. As things are going in different directions, and we've warned our parents...D and I have seriously sped up our possible moving. We are still trying to stay here, but we are also actively looking in other states. We are already looking into Florida (Orlando), Texas (Dallas area, and Midland), Georgia (Atlanta). We are open to alot of different places though, and we talk more about it once a week. We want to stay here, but it might not work out that way. The kids don't know yet, and we decided that we weren't going to tell them anything until something was definite...or not have them worry for nothing if we stay. Jess has a leading part in a school play, and Brandon has made cheer squad, so we aren't going to upset them. Time for me to get back to garage sale stuff...maybe I can sneak stuff into the garage without him noticing....

The Lady I call Mom. To my grandmother.

It has been so hard to collect my feelings on this. They are scattered all over the place, as I would guess most are when someone passes away. I have missed you for years. The Alzheimer's has taken a horrible toll on you the past 5 to 6 years and so I say I have missed you for years. When my mom called me the Wed night at 646 to let me know you finally passed, I cried. Alot. I cried alot more than I thought I would. Mimi told me Tuesday that you weren't doing so well, and we know you've bounced back...Like the energizer bunny she said...but since I have missed you for years I thought when you did go I wouldn't be so upset. Dennis said you never know how it will effect you until it happens. I am relieved you are not suffering anymore and trapped inside your mind, unable to connect. I am heartbroken that you are gone. My beautiful, funny, sweet grandmother who wanted to be called Mom instead of a grandmother name, I miss you. You were always so elegant to me, and the definition in my mind of a true classy lady. I can still hear you laugh when we would all get together at your house for dinners and holidays. I couldn't go see you, I hope you understand. To me, that was you but that was not you. I don't think my mother understood why I couldn't come see you. In my heart and in my head, you are the Mom standing in her kitchen smiling at all of us and laughing. With your hair curled just right and perfectly hemmed pants. Your visitation is Sunday, and your funeral is Monday. I dread both. And I'm sure I will cry everyday until then. Probably even after. Momma told me that Wed, the day you passed, was 10 years to the day after Dad (my grandfather) died. In a way, that's romantic and sad. It's also a reminder to me that you are both gone now. Jess and Brandon will remember you well, and it makes my heart hurt even more to know that Landon and Isaac will never get to meet the wonderful woman that you were. I can tell them, and give them my memories of you, show them pictures...but it's not the same. Wed night a few hours after Momma called, I was telling Jess about stories of you and with you of when I was little and even her age. I love you always, and miss you horribly. I hope you are at peace.

Isaac's great escape

Yesterday was going pretty normal, except D went out about 6 to the front yard to do some edging. It needed it badly so I was happy he was going to get it done. When he does yard work, the garage is always up. I pay closer attention to where the kids are for this reason, but somehow yesterday I was not on top of my game. Here is my epic Mommy fail. Jess, the two little boys and I were in the living room watching Handy Manny. Isaac started playing in the rocks around the pond. Time to distract. ABA style. "Isaac...come look out the front door! I see Daddy doing the yard!" It worked. Out of the pond he went, to the front door (which is always locked-both heavy door and glass) and started giggling. Right up behind us came Landon. "I wanna see Daddy too!" So I moved over and let Landon stand in front of me. Isaac went back towards to the living room. Thinking he was going back to Jess to watch more Handy Manny, I stood there with Landon telling him Daddy was what was called edging. No joke, 15 seconds had gone by and I turned around and said "where's Isaac?!" Running into the kitchen I see so many things off! Owen is staring out of the OPEN door that leads into the garage and Polly is about to go out of it! OH SHIT and ISAAC were my next thoughts as I flew out the door yelling JESS!!! JESSICA!!!! on my way out. I take off down the driveway, screaming Isaac, look left- nothing, look right and at first see nothing then way across Littlemore 4 houses down the other side of Kettering I see my little baby running at top speed. I am frantically yelling ISAAC  and BABY  to try to get Dennis's attention, but he can't hear me over the edger. Adrenaline has way past kicked in by now and I'm running faster than I ever thought across the street, not even paying attention to any cars. Isaac finally starts to hear me, turns around in the middle of Kettering and is grinning and giggling. He starts running back to me and I finally reach him. The whole way back to the house I don't let his feet touch the ground. D has caught up to us just after I catch him and is asking me what happened. 1. I can barely breathe much less talk. 2. All that is coming out are sobs. 3. How do you tell your best friend/spouse/baby's father/ the truth....you looked away for 30 seconds and lost your child?!?! As soon as we get back in the house I set him down in the kitchen, and immediately got down on my knees and thanked God for letting me catch him unharmed. He is fine. Anyone who lives in Countrywood knows that my street, Littlemore, is a cut through for the neighborhood. It cuts through from Rockcreek and Chimney Rock and people FLY down my street. For Isaac to make it across Littlemore and not get hit was a blessing alone! I was sick to my stomach all last night thinking about what if's and stuff like that. D and I knew that alot of autistic children are escape risks, but this was our first. We will be going to Lowe's and babies r us for all kinds of locks, etc. I am shaken up badly by this, but I am mostly grateful he is fine. It really is an amazing thing that my baby is ok. D kept asking me last night if I was ok...um HELL NO. I'm not ok, I'm scared it will happen again. I'm scared I won't be as fast next time, if there is one. I'm a big girl....carrying almost 70lbs of weight that's not ideal for me...and the what if's come roaring back in my head...
Then, I can look at my baby and once again Thank God he is home safe. Blessed beyond belief.

Positive thoughts and Gratitude Journal!

Saw the 30 day detox thing on the Today show...on my flipboard.. and while I'm not quite ready to detox from the internet ( I do that whole selling stuff on fb) I did want to curb my negativity. It has been tested the past few days. I have had to really think about what comes out of my mouth almost constantly. This makes me happy I am trying to do this! An amazing lady suggested I do a gratitude journal, and I thought FABULOUS IDEA! So, here it is! I'm a bit late on starting, better late than never and this will be easier than finding an actual journal somewhere in the house...which is getting more organized by the day! Yay!
My most recent thanks of the past few days...
My mother grabbing me milk while she was at the store the other day. Didn't have to lug 2 kids into a gas station or Kroger just for milk!
D letting me go outside 10 min before they did so I could just soak up sun in peace.
My washer and dryer. Rocking out over 10 loads of laundry yesterday!
Getting the dates down for the Countrywood garage sale! I'm ready to start getting everything in the garage.
The big kids being back from their dads!
SCHOOL STARTING! AMEN!
D cooking/grilling. Love love love when he cooks for me!
D being willing to pick the crabs up when they won't go back into their shells...eek!
Remembering to take time to pray. This one has been important to me lately. And Isaac has been working with me on this one. Instead of dragging me to my bed, he's been dragging me to his. Which means that while he is going to sleep in his bed, I am laying on the floor. Gives me time to just reflect on the day, do a little stretching and few yoga poses (like child's pose), and pray. I am very thankful for these times the past few days.
Until the next time I am able to update my journal...God bless!

Our beach getaway!

Last Sunday we attempted to go to the beach, and while we eventually succeeded it was a long day! Our truck didn't want to go, so Mom let us use her car. Best mom ever I tell you. We eventually got to Biloxi to drop Jess and B off at MawMaws to meet up with their dad and by 9 we were in Gulf Shores! Landon was so exited! Monday was their first experience with sand and ocean and we were honestly quite scared if Isaac would love or hate it. He loved it! He loves playing in the sand, burying himself, and loves the waves!!! Just like in the tub though, he's not a big fan of it going on his head, but other than that he loves it! Loves it when they crash on him, and both boys love running from the sand into the water! I think that's their favorite! We rented a condo and we absolutely adored it. It was about 4 miles west of 59 on and just across the street from the beach. They had a great little walkway onto the beach. After about one day, we were able to get Isaac to understand and use the actual words "beach" and "ocean". We pushed him to his max everyday too and he really didn't but one or two fits the whole time. We pretty much ate at the condo except for dinners, we being of the mostly broke kind, and the kids did well with that. LuLu's was great! All the sand mounds and stuff for the boys to play in while we waited for a table looked like so much fun! Isaac, well he just wanted to stand and try to stick his hand in one of their giant fans. I realized on the way home, that this was just what we needed. I missed the big kids terribly, but I also know they are having teenager type fun that with Isaac we probably wouldn't have fun doing (like bowling, lazer tag, etc) at least not until he's just a bit older. Another thing I realized is the fun at the beach outweighs the sand in places I don't want it. Love tanning, laying on the beach, getting in the water with Landon (no, I cannot handle Isaac at the beach..not physically anyway) are the best. We stayed as long as we could on our last day, pushing Isaac almost past his nap point, and started to long drive back. As we were heading home I realized I don't think I have seen D so relaxed in well over a year. Maybe 2 years. He was wanting to stay one more day, and with the rock star furbaby sitter we had, we tried. But, it was not mean to be. On the way home, we talked about maybe next year. And since Isaac was cool with it, maybe longer than 5 nights. Next year was supposed to be a Disney year though. But the more I thought about it, the more the beach made a better decision. More like $3K than $10K, with the big kids, and D was alot, ALOT, more relaxed and seemed to be happier there than on our Disney trip. I know the saying is Happy Wife, Happy Life, but he makes me happy everyday and I think next summer it will be the beach. Maybe we'll try Fort Morgan or Destin. Where's your favorite beach to vacay and why? Let me know! I have less than a year! :)

Haven't blogged in a while! So much to say, or vent.

As I look toward vacation in a few days and I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to go in 8 different directions, I though I'd get some crap out of my head. We're going to the beach. Yay! Vacation! I'm actually more worried about these 5 days than I was the 14 days at Disney. So much that seems to not be going our way on it. I literally hit my knees and prayed about this vacation last night at one point while D was at the gym. Prayed more for me to have a positive attitude the whole time and roll with all the ups and more importantly downs than for things to go smooth. I really don't know how my mom didn't kill me and Fred before a trip. It seems like we went all over the place, and she didn't tie us to a tree until time to go. I asked her this once and she said, "Wine." Yes, please! If I have twice the kids she does, does that entitle me to twice the wine? I'm going with YES.
The big kids will be hanging out with their dad on this trip, so it's just the 4 of us going on to Gulf Shores. Rain and thunderstorms and all. Lately I've been craving sun. Lots of it. So this has me a little upset. Hence the praying I don't drive D crazy being upset. God has this plan, and I need to go with it. (And I do keep saying that in my head).
Back to school is looming, and my big kids are growing like the weeds in my backyard. Out of control. I wish they would get rid of uniforms. Yes, they're easier. Blah. Blah. Blah. When I hear uniforms, I also hear my bank account crying. Tax free, thank you. Never on sale. Ever.

Updates on Isaac: He just had his 6 month review since starting Tn early intervention services. He has mastered one goal. One. And we did that before he even started therapy. No pacifiers. He now tries to repeat what you are asking him to say most of the time, however he does not spontaneously say words. We have to say the word first. And they are probably not really understandable for most people who don't see him all that often. Milk is more like "NIL". He does say GO pretty well now though. He seems to have lost the word car. He did have that for a while. Up sounds more like "UM" and it always comes in threes. "UM UM UM" Same with want. And that sounds just like the teacher off of Charlie Brown. "WAA WAA WAA" When he was diagnosed it was officially January. We did a ton of looking stuff up and said we would give it a year to see how he progressed. Then we would seriously talk about moving. I have dropped it since. A month ago we went to see someone at the Autism Society of the MidSouth to talk about his upcoming IEP meeting that will be the day before his birthday in October. We were there for 2 hours and got really great advice. She also told us, in all seriousness, if you really want to help him...MOVE. North. Since we got denied SSI for Isaac, D and I have decided to appeal that. If we get denied again, our options are get a lawyer or let it drop. We'll see how that all goes. It just appears that now Special Kids and Families school for Isaac is out. We are hoping SCS offers him all 5 days of school in October so he can get some of the help he needs. That scares the poo out of me. I'm hoping SCS comes through for him. They sure haven't for Brandon and he only has ADHD. We are now looking towards potty training for him. We are trying to be realistic that it will probably be 4 or older, but are going to start working on it Labor Day weekend.

D and I have realized that we aren't getting invited to things anymore. I asked him what he thought... and I asked if he thought it was because they are so many of us, I'm just a bitch sometimes (heh...sometimes), Isaac, or a combo. He said who knows. Which means he wasn't surprised by my question and noticed it too. So when Mandy invited us to Brandy's for her visit home we were soooo excited! It won't require that much money, we got a good size notice, and kids are welcome. Bonus!! I miss her, and don't get to see Brandy enough either. I am over the moon about this! It seems the planets, moon, and sun have to align just right for us to go to something, if we get invited, and I'm making them align this time. I can't wait to come!
I guess that has been enough for now. The 9 or 10 bags/luggage won't pack themselves. And for some reason the house won't clean itself either. Why it won't, I have no clue. Where did I lose my magic wand?

Sites have been launched.

D and I have gone ahead and made fb pages and an Etsy page for all the stuff we have been making! We have been super busy in our spare time. Every little bit we can think of to help Isaac we are trying! The therapies are hard sometimes, and our sleep is getting shorter and shorter all the time! He is doing alot more than he used to though and we are determined to help him as much as we can. Please "like" our fb page and share the links if you can to help us get the word out! We have our first transition meeting, going from TEIS  to SCS, in just over a week. The full transition won't be until the day before his birthday. When that happens we lose all the therapists. We are trying to save, trying to pay stuff off, trying to make extra money, in order to be more prepared for when we will have to pay for ABA. SCS does not do ABA therapy in schools. Mostly just speech and developmental. They also do physical, but Isaac doesn't need that now. So, we are looking into having to pay for ABA. ABA and OT have helped him the most so far since starting therapies.
D keeps making guitars, and I have been all over the place making stuff! Hair bows, diaper cakes, and my latest fun thing...soap! Cold process soap! I have had some wonderful batches come out, and then I did vanilla. Smells amazing...I guess I should have read the fine print that vanilla comes out brown in soap. Ha! Guess those will be for our home use! The oatmeal and honey came out absolutely fabulous!!! I just got colors for soap in, so I can't wait to try those out in the next few batches!
Please, please, please! Go "like" our facebook page and share! I will be posting giveaways when we are getting close to a certain number of "likes"! I think our first one will be at 25!!

www.facebook.com/handmadecreationsforcourtney

Thank you to all of our friends and family who continue to support us during our trials, therapies, regressions, and crazy times! Mayhem for sure!

Our new furbaby. Hopefully!

As alot of my friends, I get Friends of the Memphis Animal Services stuff in my newsfeed. I have been seeing the 16 recent ones that need homes, and I was BOMBARDED by all the shares of the 4 that still need homes yesterday. D and I have always talked about another furbaby, more when the time came that we might find a groove with Isaac's therapies and stuff. I looked each and everytime at the the 4 left. D has said that IF we get another dog, he wanted another girl. Heh. Well, there was one in that pic. Cinnabun, or however you spell it. Yep, the boys and I were going to look. We got there about 315, before yappy hour. Just me and the autistic child that wouldn't walk, and the nt child that wanted to see the itty bitty puppies. NO. No puppies. Well, maybe that's a stretch, but it would be better if they were past that nipping/gnawing phase. They asked what I was looking for: girl, older than itty bitty puppy. And off we went. So many beautiful babies. Good news for her: Cinnabun was already spoken for by the time I got there! About half the girls were spoken for. I wasn't really paying attention to the boys though (gotta work with D, since he really wasn't down for this in the first place). Narrowed them down to 2. Then it hit me...all of these are still kinda puppies in my opinion. Under 1, some well under 1, being about 3mo to 9mo. By this time D got there. I asked if there were any older ones. They do have a healthy holding area. So if you do go , and they take you around 2 loops...there is another loop. The chances that if you pick a furbaby in the healthy holding area are only about 75% that you can take them home THAT DAY. They are super super nice and let you know that though right off the bat. I fell in love with a girl in that area. We did see the other 2 in a getting acquainted room. One was super playful, not very lovey though, and the other was both! Then we went to get my girl. Super shy, not very sure of if she wanted to go where we were taking her. Scared almost. She's in heat right now (reason #1 we couldn't taker her today, not spayed yet), and was moving so cautiously. She stopped about halfway to the room. So I plopped my butt on that floor and loved on her a bit. Then she came on to the room. She was so shy. But didn't freak out to Landon throwing the tennis balls, or Isaac making his stimming noise to hear the echo in the room. She let me and D love on her, and that was it for me. That was MY furbaby. Her info says she's 1 year old, and came in as a stray. She's scared for sure, and I have a feeling someone wasn't so nice to her. She's stocky, but skinny at the same time. I hope that makes sense. She doesn't have a name yet either. Paper says she's about 57lbs. We told them that we'd go out to the lobby to decide. D wanted the lovey hyper one, I wanted my girl. I won. Landon...he really lost cause while we were talking about it he decided he wanted a cat. He could see them through the glass. D is allergic. No cats :)
D gave in and said we could adopt her. He also said I would owe him. What?! I think this is funny, because he would really dug in and said no if he wasn't ok with it, or he would've said something like we'll finish talking about this at home. So, we went back up there and signed up for a fence check and a background check. No, they don't do this will all of them....only pit mixes. My girl is a pit mix. Well, we have the fence requirement...just need them to come one out and check it. So 1. She has to be spayed. 2. Fence check. 3. Background check (whatever they do for that). 4. Pay for her and bring her home!!!
Her name: Jessi wants to name her, but can't narrow down a name. She has a huge long list. Even though we got home right about 5 yesterday...for some reason D had her a name before 7. Too cute. My hubby, who acted like he wasn't so sure about her had our new baby a name in less than 2 hours. Polly. I'm not so sure about it, but I've only adopted 1 furbaby and that shelter had given him an name already. Owen. Now he was only 3 mo old so I'm sure I could've changed it, but I didn't. I've never named a dog before. Like naming human children. Pressure!! I thought it would be easy, but it's the hardest thing about this! We should have a least a few more days to decide though. But D is really pushing for Polly!
Anyway: Here's the best pic we have right now of Polly?

My big kids holiday

Fat Tuesday. Love, love, love. As I was growing up here it was never really a big deal for me. Yeah, Ash Wednesday is tomorrow, and as a Catholic that was a big deal. Until I moved to Biloxi, I never thought much about it. Not quite on the New Orleans scale, Biloxi and that are always goes all out (as much as they can) for Mardi Gras. Jessica and Brandon grew up with that. Every year, multiple days...Mardi Gras! Before Katrina, so many parades! D'Iberville, Gulfport, and 2 in Biloxi on actual Mardi Gras! If we were lucky we could hit one on Saturday, and both on Tuesday in Biloxi. After Katrina, Biloxi dropped theirs down to one on Tuesday. But still, we made as many as we could. Every parade the kids would get to come home with a backpack (each)  FULL of beads and toys!!! They always closed schools for it! Jessica asks me every year when she knows it's coming up if she can take something for school for Mardi Gras. This is Jessica and Brandon's holiday in my mind. THEIR HOLIDAY. Not mine, not the little ones', theirs. This is something they remember from their young childhood and miss. As they are out of school for ice/road conditions today...they aren't able to take something this year to school (although if Kroger has something today they can take something tomorrow), they don't get to go to a parade (someone said that they may do one downtown- and if they don't they don't really advertise for it), no beads, nothing. As they do get excited about Mardi Gras they are also past the point of construction paper crafts that I could do for them. I have really failed this year on Mardi Gras for her. Somethings are beyond my control (weather), but I could have prepared more anyway. In my shaken up world of Isaac therapies, and everyone sick in a different week with something, I have overlooked something that means alot to my oldest child, and I am crushed over it. So, I guess in a way this is my vow to realize that even though we try to make things even in the house (chores, special days, etc) that some things are just for the big kids and this would be one. I'm not totally beating myself up over this, but I need to pay a bit more attention. O.O
I do have to "work" a bit this morning, but hopefully while I'm cleaning I can come up with something super cool (or at least go get her some beads) for tonight!
Laissez les bons temps rouler!! Bon Mardi Gras everyone!!!

 

 

A crazy life update!

As a whole, we are doing pretty good. We've been slammed with a ton of dr visits and copays lately but hopefully things are settling down! With D's help I've gotten my wire frame finished to hold all the bows I've been making for the ones I've haven't sold yet! I just got the shipment from Diapers.com for the diaper cakes I've been wanting to try too! D got all the stuff he needs to make about 5 of those guitars he's wanting to make. We are almost ready to start taking pics and start the Etsy store and FB store! I'm so excited, and although I'm aware that it could take months, I'm still positive about the whole venture. We are going to try so hard to make something work. After Isaac goes to bed, Landon is chilling on the couch and the big kids are settling down, I work on stuff and D works on his. Stuff we like doing, and when it starts working out it will be so beneficial to Isaac.
We are kinda confused about the whole "branding" thing, and paying someone to help us with that kinda stinks, but I want it to be the same: from the business cards to Etsy banners, logo and possible carryover to a fb page. I've got more research to do!
As I'm almost done with my own "bling" project, I've decided that my next fun thing to try is soap making. I've done some research on it and I can't wait to start!!! The bows, diaper cakes, guitars...well that's fun for us to do for Isaac. The soap is something that can be both...to sell for Isaac and fun and useful for us anyway :)
I think I have narrowed down or come up with a name for all this stuff...
Cute Creations for Courtney
But...if anyone can come up with something with Isaac in it, or anything better PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!! D isn't totally sold on the name, so we are still open for anything.
Originally I was thinking a soft green and cream for the colors, but I'm still flexible on that too. D doesn't give a poop ;)
The cloth diapers are absolutely wonderful. I wish, I wish, I wish I would have done this YEARS ago!!!! I'm hoping that the Mother's Day out will go for it, but not holding my breath.
Isaac's therapy is coming along. He can sign please, more and all done. D has gotten him to say "go" a few times and that is super exciting for us! We had to stop the additional speech therapy, we can't afford it anymore.
I got to have lunch Sunday with 2 of my favorite people and probably talked their poor ears off. Thanks for the afternoon out ladies! I loved it!
OOOoooooo gotta go!! Isaac's got my phone!

Gypsy Sisters...wha....

In the few "free" days I get, sometimes the stars align just right and I can do chores AND watch my backed up DVR. Two of my fav shoes are Hotel Impossible (Love ya Anthony!), Long Island Medium and Gypsy Sisters. Now, when I say free days, I mean those rare Tuesday or Thursday hours between 930 and 240 when all kids are at school.....and I don't have 8 million errands to run. The rare days when all my chores can be done at home. Laundry, always. Mop, sometimes I can get there. Fixing something that broke, yep. When I can actually fold and watch I go through my stored up shows. The best one, deadliest catch I have to wait for D. Don't think he'd forgive me for that.
On to the Sisters. I do watch Big fat gypsy wedding and big fat American gypsy wedding too, but there are more episodes of gypsy sisters. I have a HUGE question for all you gypsies: WHAT IS YOUR NORMAL SCHEDULE, REALLY?!?! Alot of the show is drama, gossip, clothes, fashion, Mellie's issues, and stuff like that. Some of the show is gypsy traditions, superstitions, etc. Now, as a stay at home mom I am wondering when in the hell they get time to do the stuff I see on the show. I only have 4 kids and two dogs. And I am swamped. These ladies have more kids than I, house other people and their kids sometimes. I understand that the girls clean. Got that. And several times on the show I have heard the "matriarchs" say something along the lines of...we get up and clean top to bottom. And also... what normal people think of spring cleaning we do everyday. HUH? I've seen them clean here and there, do laundry here and there. Y'all, from the moment I wake up I am cleaning, switching loads, dishes, cooking, wiping up messes, etc. Sometimes I get to nap with the boys, but not everyday. And I'm not quite sure how much more I could get done in that hour that I'm not doing already. Spring cleaning takes me more than one hour. So... everyday y'all get up do normal everyday cleaning, and also spring cleaning?! Wipe down fridges between diaper changes then dust the ceiling fans before cooking breakfast or before lunch?! I'd like to know...really. You get this all done before meeting for lunch out somewhere and still had time to fix hair and makeup? I WANT A COPY OF YOUR CLEANING SCHEDULE LADIES. REALLY REALLY I DO. If nothing else than to try it for one day. I think my bedroom gets vacuumed once a week if that. (Shame on me, I know). So...how do you do it? And when I see you sit on your living room floor blinging something out (in what looks like early evening) with NO KIDS AROUND, I'm wondering where's your 9 kids? If I even thought about doing stuff like that in the middle of my living room before 845pm I would have to fight off little ones from messing with the stuff, or worse playing with the plugged in hot glue gun. No, I didn't see any little people messing with stuff they aren't supposed to. And this blog is in no way criticising the way the culture is. I'm thoroughly in shock if these ladies pull off everyday cleaning, spring type cleaning, all laundry, cooking etc in one whole day...everyday. Much less being done in time to get all dressed up to go to lunch or go get their nails done. Jealous by the way. Not that the hubby wouldn't let me get them done every week, but that we don't have the money for that. :)
Ladies...I want a copy of your daily schedule pronto!

Finally got a minute to update! Yay!

With the weather being so wet/icy/cold and crazy, I've been kinda busy lately! D has had to work alot, and with some crazy hours! With Landon being sick week before last, and Brandon having a cold thing last week I've been swamped with the sick bugs. Cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning is what we did this weekend! My house looks the same....yet I know it's cleaner :) I was able to take an hour and go to the Kidstown consignment sale and get Isaac some puzzles that one of his therapist recommends. And we left right from there to go to Urgent Care for D. Poor hubby had a gout flare up in his ankle and was finally off work to go see someone about it. He is now almost over the limp. Yay!
Now that I have somewhat calmed down after my wonderful breakdown and everyone is in pretty good health, maybe Thursday when everyone is in school I can finally go meet the nephew and if April's up for it go see her and Ms. Cassetty. Just seeing pictures aren't doing it!
I keep posting the gofundme link on fb, so if you get a second please share even if cannot donate! Jack did pay for his speech until the first week of March, and then we are going to have to stop it. We're hoping that by then TEIS speech will start, but there is no guarantee, and he will only get it once a week. We know the psychologist recommended minimum of twice a week, but we aren't able to do that. So please go share the link, thanks!! He is now saying Mamamamama...but doesn't stop with like mama. He is working on the M sound, so we're happy. He is still signing please wonderfully and finally doing the sign for more. We are working on the concepts of UP and DOWN, waving bye bye when D leaves for work, and the word CAR (his favorite toys and favorite movie)! He is also working on IN and OUT. Putting beans in ice trays and taking them back out. He seems to really like doing that!
In more odd news, and since we are looking at Isaac possibly being in diapers for a year or more to come (although we are working on that in therapy slowly) we have invested in cloth diapers. Very few will fit my big boy, and when I told Carol she said no. LMAO. I'm guessing as with most people, she isn't aware cloth diapers have come a long way since they used them and honestly I can't wait til the big bunch gets here so I can get started. This happens to be one of those "If I'd know he would be in them this long, we would have done this from the start." This start up will pay for itself and be a money saver by the time he is 3. I will update on how that is going.
All in all, having today (well, from 930-230) to catch up on stuff that has been needing to be done, and relax for a few minutes has been so great. With sick kids, and I do clean my aunts house one all school day every two weeks, the pool overflow fiasco, it has felt like I was so swamped I couldn't breath. Insert my mom who came and saved me on Thursday. Super Nana. As soon as she teaches me how to sew...I'm going to make her that cape. Sparkly and all. And she did say she'd teach me how to sew! I am truly and eagerly and not so patiently waiting...I'm super excited!
Gotta go! There goes the dryer. Time to switch the clothes!

I've about hit that point.

You think you are on the verge of having a true nervous breakdown, and something happens to realize you weren't close. It goes from somewhat manageable to bad, then bad to worse. Something gives you a glimmer of hope then splat. Just kidding. That's when you realize you were a bit farther from that breakdown then you realized. You think now you are to that point...waiting on the "other shoe to drop" or however you want to phrase it. You search for inspirational quotes on fb or where ever, hoping one will get you back to that place where you can count the blessings you do have. You try to not listen to other's negativity without 1. imputing your own (other people need to vent too) 2. stopping them from venting (you have enough venting to do of your own and know how it is to need to vent) 3. shoving false bubbles and happiness up their ass (some people just need a moment of sad). Everyone has issues, different journeys, paths they were meant to take etc. I get it, really I do. Karma and blah blah blah. Yeah, I've done some super shitty stuff....but I think I've also done my time in Hell. The past few days I have been trying to get to that turning point of "It'll get better" and I can't find it. Am I on the verge of depression...nope. I am completely overwhelmed and sad. I'll explain the sad in a bit.

Yes, Isaac as a whole is very overwhelming. If you look at Isaac as a super grown 8 month old, he is completely awesome. I know where he "should" be and I know what he's "not doing" that is in range for his age. What my baby is- is extremely predictable. I know when he's going to want lunch. He's repetitive, I know what he's going to want for lunch. I know he's going to run from me every single time I go to change his diaper. I know if it has wheels, I need to keep him away from it unless I have to money to buy it. He's gonna grab it, not let it go, and put it straight in his mouth. Now that his official diagnosis is here and there's a shitload of stuff he needs and stuff that we have to work on I'm overwhelmed. Change is hard for me...I adjust. Change is 20 times worse for him and mostly he tolerates it, but it's becoming rough for him and we just started. Somewhere I read that parents of Autistic children have the same constant stress levels as a soldier in active duty. It appears that in the next year, I might find out what that could imply and at the present time I don't have a job to add to that stress. I might not ever know that...but I'm worried that D might.

We were told that we might be able to get grants or things like that to help with Isaac's therapy needs and some websites to visit to research this. I will be doing this tonight. Social Security has a section of SSI benefits that pertain to children with disabilities and we have explored that route. It seemed to us that the hard part about that was qualifying income wise for that . Well, we are so fucking broke that we qualify for it. We are denied because D has that land in Arkansas that he bought the ex out of. For SSI you cannot have more than a $2000 resource. Well, we owe $41k on it. It appraised for $54k. Math genius I am not, but can realize that is more than $2k. I explained to the lady at SSA that since it is vacant land in vacation area we would not be able to sell it even if we wanted to. There is no market for that now. In the appraisal it even states to sell it we would have to reduce the asking price well under it's appraisal. Add in closing costs and we would be lucky to break even, much less have more than $2k out of it. They don't care. I'll be receiving our official denial letter any day now. D said even if we put it out there for sale for $40k we wouldn't probably even get an offer. He also said that if we couldn't sell it, it couldn't be counted as a resource. When he said that, I just knew we might be fighting this. Appeal, or whatever. More research for me. He's got enough to do. And I'm tired already. That would have paid for just over half of the recommend therapies Isaac needs. (I'm not counting the recommended DAILY speech therapy..just rolling with the 2 times a week).
D and I have been going to look at private schools/developmental preschools and finally I told him yesterday I won't anymore. We can't pay for anything, and I'm not going to exhaust myself trying to even figure out where that would be coming from. Once we were told on the phone we qualified for SSI based on income, I got my hopes up that we could swing a preschool, etc. When that door slammed, I realized how far away from breakdown I am.

I was sick last week, D is sick now, Landon is super sick and having high fevers. Trying to pull off all of these visits is draining. My mom and Carol are helping out with babysitting and stuff. Little blessings. And it's getting bad that I'm having to constantly remind myself of those.
I am now in the Autism moms fb group for the mid south area, and honestly what the moms on that panel say about Shelby County schools, IEPs, and problems I am scared to death to send Isaac to preschool there when the time comes in October. I am truly scared and don't want him to go. We have no other choice. The only thing that we've got is that when the next "school" year starts, Isaac will no longer be going to his mother's day out program and Carol has said that she will give us that money she would have been paying for that to get him additional speech therapy. The speech therapy that he goes to now once a week Jack paid for. He gave us enough money for therapy for January, February and the first week in March. After that, he will only be doing what speech he gets from TEIS. So for February he will get speech twice a week. Once from Jack's money and once from TEIS, then he will go back to once a week through TEIS.

To be told that your child needs something daily...and you can't even provide it for once a week (TEIS paying for it) makes you sad. To be told that he needs a special preschool and you can't afford it makes you sad. How am I doing my job?! I'm not. And that's what hurts so bad. He needs so much more than I can do for him financially and it's killing me. I've gone through so much anger with this than anything. Oh and how many why's I've said lately. Why wasn't I smarter about money and now can't afford anything that he needs?! (And I really mean I, not we as in D and I). Stuff like that. No changing the past and all that crap. Sometimes shit like that just doesn't help when said to you. I think that has made me more tired than anything.
I told D the other day, we need a big God Damn break. Yep, cussing, using God's name in vain. In a few words all my ugly came out. I meant it too. We need a God Damn Fucking BREAK. A BIG ONE. I don't mean something simple like the fridge actually working for longer than 2 weeks. I would get Karma and all that crap if it just effecting me or my day. My kids and D having to pay for any shitty thing I did in the past shouldn't keep continuing. So honestly I'm not counting that. Do I think I just set myself up for a disaster...maybe but it's how I feel. Do I wish ill on anyone...hell no. Do I wish for anyone to ever struggle like this...never. Do I understand that there are people worse off then  me....absolutely. Does that knowledge help...not at this minute. My mom hasn't been able to keep the kids in a while (she's having her own sick battles and I pray for her) and when Carol keeps them the time she has them is shorter and shorter and shorter. Yeah yeah I'm being a totally selfish ungrateful bitch, but honestly I could give two shits right now. I shouldn't be expecting some big break or anything but a few months or something of breathing room would soooooooo damn nice. Not from kids, from overload stress. Hey everyone has bills, issues, stresses...but ours are compounding. And I feel bad for D.
I will probably be calling the doctor today to take Landon in either this afternoon and tomorrow. After that copay, and possible medicine my grocery budget this week will be less than half of what it normally is. Sob story...absolutely. And this is my best way to get it out. My mom, I'm sure is tired of hearing it by now and she's got enough negativity on her plate to last a lifetime), Ann I'm sure is tired of hearing it too, and the only other person I really talk to is April...and I'm not calling her and dragging her down! (She's got enough too and she's about to have that beautiful baby girl!).
I've been so sick lately, then D got the sick, now Landon that my nephew is over a week old and I haven't even met him yet.
I've already done D's taxes for this year, and although that will help relieve some credit cards stress we are having it will not help for the immediate minute. The benefits of putting it on the card will pay off in the long run more than it will in the immediate future. Having to look at both is exhausting too.
This post is not for anyone to feel bad for us, just for me to vent. I set up that gofundme page and they still won't post it for strangers to fund me until I hit that $100 mark first. I've noticed that alot of fb "friends" are sharing other people's gofundme posts for things like college tuition and stuff..if you can share that please take 2 seconds to share mine when I post it. That really will only be used for Isaac. As a house we can maintain daily stuff. We cannot afford any extras (dinner out, field trips for the kids etc) and so when I mean we are not able to give isaac any therapies..I mean it. One therapy a week takes my grocery budget from $144 a week  for 6 people to $99 a week.
Here's his link: http://www.gofundme.com/5ywwdw

Any other help we can use besides financially? Absolutely! I have read that immunizations can be harsh to those with Autism...do I think they cause it no. Am I going to stop them...no. But, I have heard rumors that you can request them split up. Some that come in one shot can be split into separate ones and can be given over the course of 2 to 3 weeks. One every week or something. Do i really wanna go to the dr that much, no. Does it help not overload his immune system and therefore better for Isaac...well that's what I don't know. Maybe someone can look that shit up for me. I can't afford shitloads of ink or laminating stuff and heard it was cheaper to print your own PECS cards. Print one page out for us. Like Bath time pic or diaper pic or hell, anything. Would love for it to be in color. I am not above begging, but not in such bad shape yet to bug. That's why I won't be posting the link for this post on fb.
Like I said, wanna help and don't have any money...please share his go fund me link on fb or maybe print us a page for his PECS cards. We can't have enough. One set here, one at carol's, one at mom's, one at his mother's day out.
To those who do read this, thanks for letting me vent. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Official Psychologist results for Isaac

Isaac's Behavior Rating Scale results:
- Extremely low range for Conceptual skills (ex:communication)
- Extremely low range for Social skills
- Extremely low range for Practical skills
-Relative strength in community use domain.( Knowing we are home when drive into driveway)
-Severe range for deficiencies in reciprocal social behavior.

Diagnosis: 1. Autism Spectrum Disorder
                  2. Language Disorder (Severe expressive and receptive delay)

I will at some point post thoughts/feelings/whatever on a separate post right after this one.

Verbal and written recommendations for Isaac for now:
-There's no such thing as too much therapy for Isaac right now. The more the better.
-DT, OT, ABA and Speech. Do them all as much as possible.
-Speech therapy was recommended by Speech evaluator for twice a week, Psychologist recommends daily therapy sessions in speech.
-Enroll Isaac in a developmental preschool environment as soon as possible.

Isaac has speech one time a week as of now. He also has DT once a week for an hour now. He is now on Melatonin at night to help him sleep.

These are the basics that we have right now.
Developmental Therapist is working on Isaac's fine motor skills this week, as well as communication. We have been working with him on signs. Last week we were taught 4 signs (All done, more, please and thank you). He has not mastered these yet. We have been taught another 4 (want, drink, eat, and help). He has not mastered these yet.

There's the facts! Emotional post coming soon!

Happy Birthday Dennis!

Today, my husband turns 35! We already kinda celebrated Saturday night with my friends (thanks again to April,Brandy, Ann, Taylor, Mary, Wade, my sweet Jessica, and my parents) for coming out to dinner with us! Ann and Taylor...since you're not on fb...thank you so much for the Saucer and that thing in the beer fridge! Love you so much! Sunday night we went to his mom and Jack's for dinner and cake (R2D2 recognizable to Landon so it wasn't that bad ;)!
I am so blessed to have him in my life! He is an amazing husband and can make me laugh when I'm furious...how I don't know, he just does. He is an awesome father! He's that parent that makes it look so easy while not being a pushover...again how...I don't know! He rocks. Literally. I love listening to him playing guitar when he thinks I'm asleep! He can do almost any voice you can think of. And sound just like them. It's hilarious and again I have no idea how he does it!
Since the hubby puts up with all my crap daily, I totally gave in to him and we won't be going to Disney this year. He really really really wanted to go on this 7 day cruise, so we booked it at the beginning of this week. They were offering reduced deposits, and we can make payments over time, so we are going to get passports and have some alone time without kiddos. Yay!!! Topper to that...we are leaving out of New Orleans on a Sunday in Sept...so planning for something I know he REALLY wants...we are going to go to the LSU game the day before the cruise leaves. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND ANNIVERSARY BABY! 235 days til the game, 236 days til the cruise!!!
Thank you baby for all of your love, patience, selflessness, and happiness that you share with me! I need it, and I'm never without it. You spoil me rotten and hardly ever say no. Here's to many more birthdays and wonderful experiences (once in a lifetime and everyday) that I can't wait to share with you!

My calendar is getting full!

So many things are happening, and in just a short time! Trying to get with D, my mom, and Carol with our crazy calendars has been a bit hard. We now have Isaac doing speech therapy once a week, going through someone on our own. TEIS came out Friday after his evaluation to go over our IFP, individual family plan. He will get speech through them once a week too. Looks like he will get ABA and OT once a week from them as well. She said we may be able to get DT from them as many times a week as we can handle...we'll see. I'm all for doing as much as he can handle. When the psychologist tells you that "There is no such thing as too much therapy" for your child it kind of hits you. I have gone through most, if not all, of the stages of grief by now. I'm finally at acceptance. And it didn't really hit me until she said that quote in the above sentence. Denial...thought well maybe it was just his speech. Bargaining...I'm not sure if I did this...that's why I put most of them. Depression...oh yes. I had this. Probably why I couldn't bring myself to blog this past week. I was sad for the future his awesomeness deserves, within all aspects of life but mostly it was that he might not be able to go to the best school he needs (more on that in a later post). I also hit depression knowing that I will be his advocate. D will do whatever I ask, but I will have to be the one to research, fight for, and keep all his appts and shit together. Overwhelming. *Side note, to all the single parents who have a child with autism and are rocking it, I fully bow in respsect to you.* Anger, I had a ton. It was coming out of everywhere about everything to everyone. It's a good thing that I didn't talk to some people or I might not be able to salvage some friendships/relationships. I think my mom understood what was happening more than I did, and just let it slide. Who has the best mom ever...I DO. Be jealous. Really. The only way I can say that I am finally in acceptance is I don't feel the anger anymore and I'm actually getting excited about the upcoming full weekend I have. It doesn't feel like stress anymore, or just more things to do...I'm actually wanting it to hurry up and get here.
Friday...baby Ethan should be here.
Saturday lunch...baby shower for April and little Cassetty
Saturday night...Dinner for Dennis's bday..I wanted nothing more than to keep it a secret, but with the help of confusion I had to break down and tell him. Good thing I did though cause I forgot to ask someone (they since have been invited, and hope they show up). I feel horrible about that.
Sunday...my Scentsy party! If you can come please do! It's at 1pm. I'll have food and Mary will have the awesome smelling stuff! Please come help support Mary and shop...and maybe I can get something half priced!!

As I try to get into what is the start of our new routine, I'm hoping to find my groove quickly. This winging it stuff is for the birds.

Now, gotta go finish reorganizing the kitchen drawers before the boys get home from MuMus. I haven't found that balance of trying to hurry up and finish that list of stuff I can't do while they are here and just plain sitting down doing nothing while they are gone. With everyone's calendars getting so full...when they aren't here the time is less and less each time they are gone. I should not complain. I should not complain. I should not complain. I'm having to tell myself that alot lately.
Balance, I shall find.
Go, I must.
;)

The list for 2014!

With D at work today, thank you winter weather, I have finished my list of things I would like to get to or do for 2014! While it is in pink, I haven't put sparkly stuff on it just yet. Waiting til naptime for that! Since it was getting kinda long, I decided just to go on and round it to 14 for 2014. Seems like a lot, but looking at it it's really not. Here it is in all it's fabulous glory!!!

The New Year List!

1. Save enough for an Adult Only Trip to Disney for my birthday!!

2. Pay at least half of the credit card off! I would say all, but see number 1.

3. Bake/Cook more! Cookies, cupcakes, doggie treats, dinner (getting away from hamburger helper), bread, homemade meatballs, and number one thing to bake/cook- Alton Brown’s mac and cheese!

4. Fix broken little things in the house, or replace them. Like those silly light covers that are broken in the kitchen. Not really something you think about everyday.

5. Mop more than once every two weeks (if that happens that much now *head hung in shame*).

6. Sell everything we don’t use, and doesn’t piss Dennis off!

7. Give in to my new glitter/shiny obsession. Ten years ago I would have never even though of sparkly. I’m going with it!

8. Walk the dogs more. Between the pool and fenced off kid area…they don’t have a ton of room to run and play in.

9. Re-teach the big kids how to clean stuff and do laundry. Not half ass it, really stay with them when cleaning and make them redo it til it’s right.

10. Dress up more…even if for no reason at all.

11. Hide more vegetables in the food. ;) Yes kiddos, butternut squash and other stuff will be going in your mac and cheese!

12. Play more cards with my mom, as well as teach the big kids Canasta. I don’t think I got to play any at all with her last year.

13. More yoga. I have severely fallen off with this, and it does wonders for me.

14. Last but not least, (since it is 2014 I should have 14 right?!) have everyone UNPLUG more.

I'm thinking this list is very doable, something that will be not too much to handle. Except number one. That one is the one that might have to get pushed back to 2015. I am determined though, and stubborn. Once my mind is set..it's hard to change!
There is a pic going around fb now, saying if you save the amount of the number week it is in the year, you'll have a certain amount by the end of the year. I'm going to try that too. Only for so long. I will be stopping Thanksgiving weekend. I am going to use this as Christmas shopping money. I think this is a brilliant idea. I am going to try my hardest, and hope D doesn't get upset since we are trying to pay off the credit card (see number 2) but it would help if I didn't have so much to try to come up with at Christmas. We'll see how it goes!
I wish everyone Good Luck in their new year goals/lists/words/resolutions!

More appointments for Isaac, and I need a distraction!

The evaluator for Tn early intervention services came by this morning, and we should get this ball rolling pretty soon. We still have the psychologist appt for his "official" diagnosis (one or more) on Monday. In a few days another lady from TEIS will call to meet for his whatever they called it plan, and therapy, or the therapies,  should start soon after that. I'm so tired of...what are those things..acronyms. Like, TEIS stands for something, ASD stands for Autism Spectrum Disorder. Really...I'm stuck in this place where everything and every sentence has one or more of these in it and I have to try to figure out what they mean. I'll probably know all of them in a few months, but right now trying to read stuff on the Autism mom's group fb page is like half acronyms. That I don't know.
I'm trying really hard to get my mind off of all of these appointments, and I'm also trying to sell stuff like crazy to afford some of these appointments. I'm selling stuff all over fb resale sites. I started a gofundme page for Isaac, for anyone who's feeling sympathetic and wants to help out! Please! The amount that we are trying to raise is what his speech therapy alone is going to cost this year. I put on there that it was for all 3, but I just added up his twice a week visit copays and that's the number I got. Sheesh!! So...if you feel like you can...click the link and help us out!! What I didn't realize is that gofundme will not make your profile/page truly public where wonderful strangers can donate...until you get $100 in donations yourself. So please share!
As spring is fastly approaching, I need something for me to do to earn money. I can do boutique hairbows and diaper cakes with ease, also homemade bath salts and sugar scrubs ... so I was thinking about maybe getting up a big stockpile of those and doing spring, summer, and fall craft shows. Most of these are on weekends anyway when D is off work and I can drag the Jessica with me to help out. Thoughts? On most of the big ones, little ones, and even consignment sales I have noticed that they have vendors who do bows, but since the diaper cakes are so much fun for me I thought about those. Good idea, bad idea? I do not think I can do both in one booth, but I'm not sure about that either. Or not risk it at all? I really really really need advice on this one. I'm on the fence.
Still working on that super sparkly list for this year though, and just wondering if crafts/trade shows should be on it. Y'all help me out with deciding!!
Love and always God Bless! www.gofundme.com/5ywwdw

Happy New Year! And Resolutions?

 

As it is now 2014, and I am off to a great start in 2014 (at least with laundry) I am wondering...should I have a resolution? I have in previous years tried the weight loss thing, the no smoking thing, and the paying off of the credit card thing. So first day in 2014...I am still overweight, still smoke, and thanks to my determination to go to Disney the card is almost still maxed out. I see on FB that some friends are doing them, others not, and D never does. So...should I make a resolution for this year? Would short term goals be better? I know what I want to happen in 2014, so maybe a list is the way to go for me! Maybe my resolution will be to not lose determination in accomplishing the list?! Type it up in pretty font, pretty colors, and add glitter and put it on the fridge?! YES. Sparkle fabulous!
We didn't do much for New Years, stayed at home and I did some laundry. Somehow I missed the ball drop in New York..but was cracking up when Memphis messed up the guitar drop! So sad, and yet hilarious. D and I are hoping to actually make it out somewhere next year, but we'll see...that's a long way off!
I'm trying to clean stuff up around the house and get rid of stuff (or sell it) we don't use...I haven't decided if that's mostly a commercial influence thing..or just something mom always did when we were growing up. When the new year hits, all stores etc are advertising for organization stuff and cleaning stuff. Maybe a bit of both.
What I'm looking forward to in the new year:
The new nephew...should be here before end of Jan. Can not wait.
The arrival of Ms. Cassie...She should be making her grand appearance in Feb.
The start of Isaac's therapies! May they be the help he needs.
So far, that's it. It's not the end of the list of happies to come...it's just in the next 3 months! Rock star start to the year!
Now...to get on the super sparkly list of things I want to happen! I'll post the list and a pic when it's all done!
Hope everyone had a safe and Happy New Year's celebration, and I hope 2014 brings you everything you hope for and need! God Bless!