Stay at home mom guilt? (April..it's your finished, and almost finished cakes.)

After losing my job a month or so back, I officially became the stay at home mom with no job. I sort of had a job, if you can call it that. Watched the most precious little girl all day and got to play with all the kids. After that ended, with the Disney trip coming up (33 days!) D and I decided we'll take this time to figure out what I'm going to do come Christmas, January and beyond as far as jobs go. Pretty much would have to be all weekend job, or all night job. Gotta be here to take care of the boys all day, since can't afford childcare for them. Yep, I'm not worth more than daycare expense for the boys in terms of employment. Meaning, we'd go in the hole if I were to do a Mon thru Fri. Yes, mom might be able to keep them a day or so, Carol a day or so, but it would wear them out pretty quick and well honestly Carol has so much stuff going on... that's not that reliable on a weekly basis. So, D and I have kicked ideas around...and after Saturday's new,  we talked again about what type of job for me to get and he said..."take Isaac to appointments". I just sighed and said "yeah". One one hand, count blessings and all, I don't have a job and can be there for them and him and all the appointments we can afford. On the other....the afford. How thin do I try to stretch myself to help D. He works his ass off. And I'm not helping (financially). Bad, bad guilt here. Side note: D has a new title at work, not an upgrade, not a downgrade, just linear. He is not going to be overseeing new construction, like the finish of 385 anymore. He is going to be "KING OF THE POT HOLES"! That's what I've been teasing him with. They are moving him from new construction to maintenance. Y'all he is not happy. They are doing it cause he rocks. His patience is all the time there and he never gets upset, yells, or anything. Overseeing maintenance (potholes, broken guardrails, signs, etc) and he is not happy. King of the Pot Holes, I love you!
I have some suggestions about cleaning houses, no one likes their houses cleaned at 8pm. Really. I am horrible at in-home parties. I can sell the stuff just fine, but it's the pushing someone who doesn't want to have a party to have one (getting out of your friends and family list). Mom has mentioned the diaper cakes...gonna give that a whirl I guess. There's not a huge market for it, and it's pretty large on etsy/ebay already so I'm not sure if I'm not a few years late on it. I've done them normally only for friends as gifts, never sold them. Something to think on though. I've done the full of stuff ones, 2 tiered, 3 tiered, and this time doing something different I made April's 4 tiered and simple. Minnie's not done. Gonna get a fabulous topper at Disney World, just for her! I'll post pics of them at the bottom. D wants to make more of these guitars and sell them. He's pushing me to go on and create an Etsy store so he can start selling them. He loves his and wants to keep making them. Got my hands on homemade sugar scrub and scented bath salt recipes...that's what's for Christmas. Started a batch today for presents and it needs some tweaking, but could sell that too I guess.
After reading April's fb post about her hair, made me really want to get my hair cut and colored. I went ahead and cancelled an at home lunch date with Ann, made plans with my Aunt Sallie at Juve, and justified the money to get it done to I deserve something for me too. So sometime tomorrow I'm going to go to see my aunt, and pay probably around 30- 40 dollars to have my hair done. Yep, cost. She's doing it for cost. I don't even want to imagine what she'd charge if I weren't her niece. Really scares me. So right after texting with her, I got horrible guilt over spending the money. HORRIBLE GUILT. Tried the justifying thing again. 1. Have only gotten my hair cut once (by any kind of trained professional, like super cuts) in over 3 years. 2. Have only gotten hair cut by real professional (my aunt, and only my aunt at cost) once in the past 5/6 years. For my brother's wedding. So that's twice I've had my haircut in 5/6 years, because I can't afford it, or other things were more important. Like gas. ;) So, not to be negative...but is it worth it? Should I even have guilt? As always, hair therapy can work miracles. And maybe that's just what I need right now to turn these past few days of blergh around. And hopefully Ann will forgive me! Never get to see that non facebooking chica anymore! Justified or no? Sell on Etsy or get a full nighttime/weekender and have no time with the hubby? Decisions, decisions. Guilt, and guilt. Sheesh. I love being at home with the kiddos. Love it. Love the little breaks too, but for the most part they are my entire life, along with laundry and I don't wish to change it. Just wish there was a good way to help D out, and not feel guilt over getting my hair done at the same time.

 

The first pic is April's cupcakes (some of them) They are onesies.

Second pic is  a 3 tiered cake, before final ribbon and decor.

Third pic is April's finished pink/yellow cake (her colors, and pacifiers in pink flowers)

     and her Minnie cake. Still looking for that perfect topper.

Fourth pic is a diaper cake I did a few years ago for Ms. Susan's soon to be arriving granddaughter. That's what I meant by all done up with stuff. Most of it is normal diaper bag necessities and things and lovey blankets/animals/teethers from specific Target baby wish lists. I love personalization!

What does everyone think of the cakes? Yes or no?
Here are the cakes I did for Eli.